Letters to the Editor
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Reality Check
Ok, he did something really crappy, but let's check the facts - he had a cyber affair and cyber sex but only physically met up with her once.
There is no doubt he was a jerk in this case, but I bet there were thousands of things he did right. Vacations were had, children were born and nurtured, he had a career and supported his family ... he loved you and the kids. He married you. You know what he did with her? He used her to get his rocks off for about two years and he only bothered to meet her in person once. Who knows if he was really going to meet up with her again. Even if he was, their visits were incredibly few and far between.
You are raw from the loss of him now. Your emotions - I can only imagine how crazy and huge they must feel. But in the end allow yourself to feel this truth - you were his wife, the woman he loved and with whom he chose to make a family and a life. She was no more meaningful than a porn site to him, unworthy even of regular in-person visits. In other words, she was nothing. You and the children were everything.