Letters to the Editor
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Good neighbor? Business transaction? Who knows?
This problem has little to do with whether the neighbor is a violent ex-con or not. The Letter Writer has made a very serious miscalculation in mixing neighborly good-will with the notion of starting a "business". What if the neighbor was a nice 80-year old lady instead? The kind young man next door fixes cars for half price. When her car broke downtown he steps in again. No money is discussed or prices quoted. How polite. This is how neighbors used to behave. Next he comes knocking at the door asking to be paid. The price comes as a shock since it was never discussed and she doesn't have the money. She might not have wanted her old car fixed if she had known the price. Ex-cons in this position respond with violent threats. Little old ladies promise to pay later and never can. Either way it is the Letter Writer's error and the money is lost. By responding as a good neighbor he took the car repair out of the realm of a business transaction. He cannot expect this to close smoothly since there was no deal in the first place.
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You own a business - behave like a businessman
I don't think you should go after him for the money; he sounds dangerous. Just write off the money as tuition in the school of life, and go on with your life.
But for the future - if you run a business, you have to run it in a businesslike manner. I have a tutoring business, and I do not teach for free. Ever. I always make sure to agree upon a fee ahead of time. If the client looks dodgy, I get it in writing. It doesn't matter whether you repair cars in your driveway or if you rent a garage, but if you don't take your own business seriously, no one else will take you seriously either.
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re: ololon
Add me to the list of people who think you're smoking crack.
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Boy, these letters arrive awfully fast....
I want to address ONLY the issue of good neighbors, though of course money is often a barrier to that. This happened to me last night and I think it is exactly in the spirit of Cary's words.
I live in a pretty scuzzy neighborhood in which I somehow, praise God, am not afraid. There is a run down hotel next door whose manager once screwed me big time financially. And then, like LW's neighbor, HE escalated the war and was really difficult in every way. I hardly knew the man but he kept going after me, gossiping relentlessly, refusing to help and even refusing MY help etc.
So, last night I had a family emergency. My beloved nephew was missing in LA and had been en route here to Miami. He never showed. Then I called others who were supposed to see him and he never went to any appointments. His cell phone was clearly off, it didn't ring but just said, ominous: "the answering machine is full." In short, I ended up calling overseas, and to Hawaii to his doctor and to everyone I could think of because I did not have his best friend's phone and a few of us were in mounting fear re: his whereabouts.
Okay, taking the long way to the point. I decided to fax his old hotel in Jerusalem to find anyone who might know his friends' cell phones. I wrote on top: URGENT and maybe an Emergency.
I was completely organized and calm, not my usual m.o., but I was that way because I sensed this could end very badly. I walked next door and there was the mean guy at the desk where I HAD to send the fax. I said, "Hi M., charge me whatever this is getting to be an emergency." He glanced at the header on the letter which said the same, and put the long distance fax through. Since he always cheats me I said: "Okay, what do I owe you?"
Miracle: He felt for me and said, "Nothing. Just let me know when you find your boy."
I can't tell you all how much this feud of 7 years dissolved, or how these kind words heartened me. An hour later, the nephew was found and was fine. I was ecstatic as one is after averted catastrophe.
I went downstairs just to move and bless the world, and happened back at the neighbor's hotel-ish. I said, "M. You were so kind. I want you to know that I never liked this war. We are neighbors and you did me a great service tonight, both literally and emotionally."
I'd like to say that we hugged but we did the next best thing: We smiled and I knew this horrid vibe/feud was finally over! I'm writing this in the spirit of Cary's response. I know it may sound polyanna-ish but truly, when any of us are in a PANIC, sometimes there are neighborly benefits. For what it worth I still feel the blessing of every detail leading up to finding my kiddo. Thanks for listening. And HOW DO YOU ALL WRITE AND POST HERE SO FAST???
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Anon around 9 AM
"you have the most articulate and florid vocabulary of any auto mechanic I've ever met. Maybe you should go back to school and be a writer (although, admittedly, you'd make more money as an auto mechanic)."
Good stuff!
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...and maybe he'll hold hands with you and sing Kum-ba-Yah also...
I have a better idea than being the Ghandi of automotive repairs.
Tell the guy plainly and without confrontation to pay you what he can, when he can. Explain as nicely as possible that because you need to be paid promptly for your work you will not repair his car in the future unless he pays you BEFORE you do the repairs.
Next, - drop the issue and expect never to be paid for your past work. Accept this as a life lesson of some sort and move on with your life.
As for the vandalism, animal abuse and threats of violence: report them to the police and his landlord each and every time so that there is a recorded history of what is occurring.
Unfortunately, there is not a perfect solution here. But at least you can choose to confront each day's events with a backbone and with your head held high, rather than choosing to be a doormat as CT suggests.