Even if you win, you don't walk out of there with money, you walk out with a judgment that ain't worth much if you can't get him to pay, which you obviously can't.

Tennis responds w/his usual Skraelingr nonsense. Reconciliation under Tennis's terms is for losers. It's almost a given this guy's going to turn to you again for help when his car breaks down. When that happens, the 2 of you are taking a trip to the nearest ATM before you do any work on his car. You're getting your money owed and he's paying a deposit in advance if you decide to help him out. That's when the reconciliation can take place and not before then.

Great advice! Additionally, why not tell the letter writer to pay the man who threatened him $100 as an additional token? Or just give the guy his credit card? I'm sure they'll be on "friendly terms" after that....

Think of the lost money as tuition paid on a business class and learn from your mistake. Next time something like this happens, ask for at least half the estimated labor up front. That way you will at least get something for your work.

The time you spend chasing this payment will cost your more in lost earnings and stress than it is worth. Your girlfriend is right, let it go.

Get a loan, get a garage, a merchant account and a collection agency. Approach every client with kindness, but also with the mindset that they may try to screw you the way this guy has done. He did you a favor. He made you truly understand what it takes to be a businessman. Now, get out there and act like one. And in future, no money, no wheels, capeche? And, make sure you get signed estimates and that all materials and parts are paid for IN ADVANCE.

I wonder whether all the negativity is not somehow turning Cary spitefully nicer. As if to show everyone what a great person he is in the face of their annoyance. But don't get me wrong, I read SYA all the time. I like that niceness: I just find it out of place in this situation.

The right advice is simply to go to the police and explain that you were assaulted (he threatened to kick your ass). Write off the money as cost of doing business, and get this moron out of your neighborhood.

Stupid people always resort to anger or threats of violence when they lose the capacity to reason. (Well, maybe that's true of everyone, but stupid people just get there first.) The letter-writer hates the stereotype next door, and rightly so!

The right advice is: never speak to him again, and tip the police off every time he does something terrible. As much as Cary has a fairy-tale of people working together, he has to understand that some people are just too stupid to reason with.

Be the _Smarter_ man.

With all due respect to Cary, guys like this are not San Francisco liberals. He will not respond to offers of reconciliation. For men like this, "might makes right." He probably honestly believes that if he can bully you into forgetting about his debt, then he owes you nothing. If you were to have a fist fight with this guy, win or lose, then he'd be willing to bargin with you and/or give you a little respect. But, for now, he thinks he owns you.

So what to do? The fist fight is not advised (for many reasons philosophical and practical). I'd forget about the money and chalk it up to a learning experience. (Ever notice that at a mechanics shop, you don't get your car back until you pay?) Also, since your home business is probably illegal in some way (taxes, zoning, etc), I wouldn't push my luck.

My own goal here would be to get this guy out of the neighborhood. Call the police about each and every loud fight, vandalism incident, etc that occurs. Get the police visiting him on a regular basis. If he is an ex-con, he will be wary of the police. He might even be on probation. He will either move, clean up his act, or get arrested. If he further threatens you or vandalizes your property, file a police report. Don’t confront this guy directly, just keep reporting him. On the other hand, beware calling the police for very minor incidents or when there is no real proof he’s doing anything wrong. Do that enough and they’ll start ignoring you or taking forever to respond to your calls. Also, if some like-minded neighbors start calling too, that will help a lot. A lack of response from the police can be sometimes helped by making an appointment with the police chief or with your local councilperson.

I've lived in situations similar to yours numerous times. In every case, this strategy worked wonders.

Good luck!

because it's the best way to protect your ass. This guy and his kid sound dangerous. Notice that from the beginning, LW was on good terms with this neighbor only because of LW's willingness to do good deeds for him. Once LW sullied the waters by bringing up his kid's CRIMINAL behavior, the whole thing went south. And, unless LW becomes the selfless do-gooder again, it's only going to get uglier.

The irony of Cary's advice is that LW was ALREADY displaying such a neighborly, brotherly attitude toward his neighbor (e.g., repairing his car at 1/2 the cost), and the neighbor repaid this kindness with a kick in the balls. So much for spreading peace. Don't get me wrong -- I love the idea -- but we have to temper kindness with an understanding of when to protect ourselves. Now is that time for the LW. So, yes, offer to let go of the debt, and do it as a continued gesture of brotherliness on the surface, but really do it because YOU HAVE NO OTHER SAFE CHOICE and then disassociate from him as much as possible, stay off his radar screen, protect yourself, your fiancee, your pets, your home, and just hope that this jerk moves away. And in the meantime alert the cops of the vandalism, maybe they'll patrol the street a little more often and scare the bb-gun toting kid.

As for your anger that this guy ripped you off -- let that go for your own peace of mind, vow that it won't happen again, and realize it's a small price to pay for realizing your neighbor's true nature. The cost could have been far worse. And it still could be worse, if you don't close ranks and just think about protecting yourself in the future.