Letters to the Editor
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Age is not a disease
It's the mantra I tell clients when they want to put their animals to sleep because it's no longer convenient to take care of an older animal. Many insist it's time to euthanize because the dog is old anyway.
I hear this weekly. And I say that with age come problems much like the Alzheimer's in humans that LW is agonizing over. Older dogs can have problems with urinary incontinence and obesity. These are medical problems that can be dealt with. In the case of urinary incontinence, fairly inexpensive medication can turn the animal's (and LW's and grandparents') lives around. Obesity may be due to hormonal problems that MAY also be relatively easy to treat.
Rule out medical problems before deciding that now is the time to euthanize. I don't mean to say that Alzheimer's isn't awful to deal with, but the dog may bring a world of comfort and understanding to this older lady that nobody around her does. I have seen families of seniors with Alzheimer's in my clinic, and I see the heartache they face in caring for their loved ones. But I also see how much these little dogs and cats mean to the helpless Alzheimer's patients, and how a decision to euthanize (made by family members) can cause so much pain to them.
Honor the human-animal bond between grandmother and dog. Consult a vet to find out what medical issues this dog has that may be reasonably treatable. If grandma is in need of daily help and is receiving it from family or nurses, it is usually not difficult to administer medication to pets during the visit. If the medical issues are too many, and you simply don't have the time or finances to deal with them, then at least you know you have tried your best for both your grandmother and the dog. If you decide to euthanize don't dump the dog for hard-working, underappreciated shelter workers to deal with. (They have enough animals to deal with.) Life before euthanasia in shelters, especially for a blind, older animal, is filled with frightening and unfamiliar sounds and smells. At least have the decency to have a vet peacefully euthanize the animal in the clinic or in your home.
Finally, LW is young but it is disturbing to read that her solution to problems of old age is to kill the dog. I see this mindset in clients too often, and it doesn't fail to upset me. It makes me wonder the kind of example LW may set for her future kids and grandkids: that when things get tough, get the aged out of sight and out of mind.
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Incontinence is a Big Deal for an Animal Too
First off, I sympathize with the LW. But I agree with other posters that all the frustration and emotion in the family is focused on the dog. Even if the dog were to disappear tomorrow, the intial problem of dealing with a person who's personality is dying day by day will still be there.
BUT I don't think the grandfather is being unreasonable with his concerns. He's probably concerned about the value of his house with all the stinky carpeting and possibly stained floors. I've lived with animals who have peed or pooped in corners and it IS oppressive. And refinishing stained wood floors or carpeting is a big project.
If the dog is really incontinent due to medical reasons and not just misbehaving or neurotic, it might actually be time to put it down. Animals that pee and poop indiscriminately start to soil themselves and stink and they don't like it either. We once had a cat that suffered from uncurable bone cancer, and the vet told us that when he could no longer get to a box or started indiscriminately peeing any old place, that would be the time to put him down, because his decline would be painful, rapid, and humiliating.
If the dog is just misbehaving because of inconsistent care, and the grandparents cannot afford a dog babysitter, then maybe a new routine of care can be established by another relative. I don't think it would be unreasonable to have a large cage to keep the dog in some of the time. Maybe keep it in the grandmother's room. As another poster suggested, hide the pet food from grandmother and only keep a day's supply within her reach.
Maybe the grandfather can make walking his wife and the dog part of a routine. Dogs thrive on routine, and if they don't have it, they misbehave and are miserable. In fact most people thrive on a little routine also. Pick up the dog during the walk if he refuses to walk, but I would bet that after awhile he will be happy for the exercise.
If the grandmother actively resists any attempts to give the dog some of the routine it needs, it might be time to find another home for the dog if possible. It will be hard to retrain both the grandmother and the dog, and somebody might really have to lay down the law to both as lovingly as possible, but it can be maybe be done.
Good luck LW. You said it in the first paragraph of your letter. It is not the dog's fault. Right now you might be jealous that the dog gets to whine, when maybe YOU want to whine too instead of being so darn rational all the time. Your whole family has a right to cry and be frustrated, but don't kill the dog unless you have to. It won't help.
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Bottom line:
When an old pet starts evacuating its bladder and bowels where it pleases, it's time to go. I've had many pets, and loved them all. But they are pretty replaceable, nonetheless. And no, that isn't heartless. People are more important than animals. Fuck PETA.
Cary's got it backwards: it's not that we shouldn't euthanize incontinent pets because we don't do the same to humans. We need to wake up and start euthanizing incontinent people. And no driving after the age of 70.
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Jesus H. Christ
I have eaten puppies and guinea pigs as food.
We, as Americans, spend more on pet care than other countries do on health care for humans. I have a cat and a lizard that I currently care for. My next door neighbor has a diabetic cat that she gives insulin shots to. She can't go on vacation without a caregiver who knows how to manager her cat's blood sugar.
I was born in a ranching community in northern Montana. I ate what I killed.
How did we get to the point that our pets get treated better than African people's children?
I am not a vegan so I survive off the by-products of animals. The American fascination with photogenic mega-fauna is so typical of our approach to reality. I think I prefer the Hindu approach where one treats all animals as equal or the rancher approach where all animals are treated as product.
Pax