Letters to the Editor
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Where's the letter writer cooking?
I wish the letter-writer would report back. Since cooking Thanksgiving dinner must have been such an ordeal for her, I hope the poor thing has recovered. A chef who's distracted by a tiny dog must be quite something in a professional kitchen.
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Dear DairyStateMom
I have been there. I have been there THREE TIMES in fact. In one case the pet in question was a cat. It was an annoying, high strung cat. After a few days of loving attention it was clear to me that this cat was scared and needed reassurance. With a few days of loving care, the cat became much easier to handle.
In each case there was a pet in question but we saw the pets more a part of the family than as interlopers on our time. Perhaps thats why we didn't find it inconvenient to care for the pets or, in one case, find the pet a good home.
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Been there, done that, still caring for the dog
Let me start by saying caregiving is a physically and emotionally draining position to be in. I cared for my mom for 5 years with the "assistance" of my disabled brother who was at least there at night and could follow mom's directions to call me when she fell. During this time I also had to tolerate mom's little "princess" who crapped in corners, ate whatever she could steal, rather than her own food, and growled at babies, not a batch of good points for me as my youngest was 9 months old when mom died. That dog is probably what kept mom going as long as she managed. Before her disease stole her last bits of consciousness, she asked that i make sure "princess" was cared for. Damned deathbed promises anyway.
Princess had a tough adjustment. I had a big dog, 4 cats, a pile of kids and their friends, and limits. Two vet dentals cleared up the stink and ill temperment, although at the considerable cost of teeth from the crap diet she was eating. excercise slimmed her out into a nice-looking toy poodle. She learned not to beg, and to do her business outside, rather than on my carpets, for the most part. however, she is enjoying her senior years with us, and is now protecting my newest grandchild from my big-dog puppy.
Ok, so much for my opinion about the dog. IF the grandfather is threatening suicide over the dog, he needs help. Getting rid of the dog is not going to solve his issues. he'll just threaten suicide over the next thing that irritates/overwhelms him. did I mention my disabled brother? This still goes on everytime he is crossed. Get your grandfather help, get him respite care, whatever it is he really needs, short of putting granny out of his misery.
Now caretaking isn't for sissies. The caredfor are never thankful, gracious or polite most of the time, in fact, they are downright mean. Demented people don't think things through they react from instinct alone. it seems manipulative, but really it is all they know to relate to people now.
Good luck, get support from a caregiving group, and get support for the dog. She needs it as much as the rest of you do. I wish you all well in this difficult situation.
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This may be a medical problem
First, an 11 year old Yorkie is not that old. She needs to be taken to the vet, because I'll bet you anything she has a bladder infection that can be treated with a simple course of antibiotics, which should take care of the incontinence.
Most of her problems sound medical to me, and may well be simple to treat. Without finding out, it's insane and cruel to leap to euthanasia. The grandmother may be able to keep her dog and the stress on the caregivers may be alleviated for the price of a vet visit and some antibiotics. If this care is unaffordable, there is a list of organizations that can help with vet bills here:
http://www.care2.com/c2c/share/detail/300198
Since an 11 year old Yorkie isn't all that old, rehoming the dog through a Yorkshire Terrier or other rescue organization would be far preferable to killing the dog. Here is a list of Yorkie rescue groups:
http://www.yorkierescue.com/
Christie Keith
Contributing editor, Universal Press Syndicate's Pet Connection
http://www.petconnection.com/
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I appreciated Cary's sanity and compassion
"Cary, if you are so concerned about suffering, why not go out and do some actual good in the world? I'm sure there is a school or hospital or homeless shelter that would love to have you volunteer."
-- Aparecida
[Read Aparecida's other letters]Permalink Tuesday, November 27, 2007 06:54 PM
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Aparecida ,
I feel Cary does a lot of good in the world through his articles in Salon. His voice is a steady compass in the wilderness we call Life. I bless the day his talents and insights found this forum.
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Unbelievable
LW - Please do not be discouraged by reading this pap from these hysterical people who equate euthanizing a dog with euthanizing people. And all these suggestions of trips to the vet and special diets and training? Who do they think has the time and money to do things like that when your grandparents are so in need of your support? And don't get me started on the guy who suggested you put an ad on Craigslist, I'd love to see all the responses you'd get to that one (Old incontinent dog that begs for food in need of lots of specialized training and attention. . .)Take care of your grandparents and yourselves.
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"We do not honor knowledge. We honor killing."
Cary's style of advice is always entertaining, frequently irritating, and sometimes a bad fit for the problem. This time, he is utterly, exactly on the mark. His response is profound and moving. Bravo.
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People worrying about the "emotional" well-being of a dog
are the ones that need to be euthanized. Who has time and money to got a "Pet Psychiatrist" (what the hell is that?!??!) to see if little doggie has emotion problems?
It's just plain retarded to spend the vast amounts of time and money on animal care we do in this country. I too know someone who gives their cat insulin shots. What a joke! Let the damn thing die and get another cat. It's freakin' OK.
I'd even go that far with people.
My grandmother took 10 years to go from her first stroke to death. And while I can never be sure of my grandmother's mental state, I find it quite improbable to believe she was enjoying life. Some days she didn't know her own daughter's name. So when we'd visit her, she's thinking "who the hell are these people?!" Yeah. I'm sure that's pleasant.
Other days, she seemed to recognize her own daughter, but was incapable of communicating anything. I'm sure that's all happy and sunshines too. Being stuck in a destroyed body incapable of doing anything! Sign me up!
The only reason we keep the old and sick alive is for OURSELVES. People claiming otherwise are in most cases lying.
Some liberal I am.