Letters to the Editor
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Piffle
I think this advice is piffle. Human needs come before dog needs. Human pain is more important than dog pain. If the dog is going to drive this man to suicide, etcetera, get rid of the dog, either by euthanizing it, by giving it to a friend (ideally), or by giving it to an animal shelter. This may seem like a callous view, but society simply doesn't need to give the needs of animals and people precisely equal weight, ethically or otherwise.
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And by the way
I don't buy slippery slope arguments when they're applied to things like gay marriage and abortion, and I don't buy them here, applied to this situation. This woman doesn't need to have the fate of the health care system on her mind while she's making this decision. A simply doesn't lead to B.
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It's time to outsource!
You say your aunt and grandfather are cracking under the strain of caring for both your grandmother and her dog. Why not get some outside help to lighten their load? Here are some things that you can look into:
- Hire a dog-walker for the Yorkie. Also look into obedience training.
- Hire a cleaning service so that Aunt and Grandfather don't waste their time and energy scrubbing the toilet. Ditto yardwork and similar tasks.
- Investigate adult daycare and respite care for your grandmother, to give your aunt and grandfather a break. Ditto in-home caregivers, nursing services, etc. Your local social services agencies can help.
- Make sure your grandfather is getting proper medical care; especially, talk to your grandfather's doctor about his depression. Same goes for your aunt. It sounds like they may be at risk for caregiver's syndrome: when caregivers of an ill person don't take care of themselves, and end up dying before their charge does.
- Eventually -- probably sooner than they think -- your aunt and grandfather will no longer be able to look after your grandmother. They need to look into assisted living and nursing facilities NOW, while they still have some sort of control over the situation, instead of waiting until one or the other of them is incapacitated.
The dog is only the symbol of your difficulty. Getting rid of the Yorkie may briefly make life easier, but it's not going to change the underlying problem: your grandmother's dementia. However, if your aunt and grandfather can get some assistance, they will be better able to care for both Grandma and her dog.
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Human needs come before dog needs.
Which is why the grandmother's complete love of her little dog should be taken into account. She's elderly, ill, etc., but she LOVES her little dog.
It would be down right cruel to take that away from her regardless of how you feel about animal rights.
If your grandmother gets put into a home or has passed away, then you can determine what you want to do with the dog. Not now.
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Disgust
(derisive sneer)
Other anonymous is right. She should totally kill the dog.
And then she should kill grandmother. And grandfather too. They're all getting in the way of a good time.
(/derisive sneer)
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there are other ways to deal with this...
My grandmother has an 11 year old West Highland white terrier, and until recently had several very old cats. Because of failing health, she moved in with my parents several years ago. Neither the cats nor the dog were particularly continent, and were often very annoying. The LW's situation is a little different - my grandmother, though frail, is entirely mentally cogent, and the Westie isn't quite the holy terror that this Yorkie sounds like. My parents, however, do a few solutions that might help the LW's family.
First, the dog can wear a diaper. Many dog diapers attach around the neck, waist, and between the hind legs, so it's very difficult for them to chew the diaper off or wriggle out of it. When the dog is not outside, it wears a diaper. So, no more puddles (or worse) to clean up.
Second, the dog can live in one room of the house, probably the grandmother's bedroom. If she loves him so much, she can keep him out of the way of the rest of the house's inhabitants. Someone can check to make sure he has food in the mornings and evenings, but otherwise he only needs to have social contact with your grandmother. All of my grandmother's cats (and often the dog) live in her room with her. She's happy to have them, and nobody else sees or deals with them particularly often. My mother checks to make sure that they're fed, and occasionally cleans out the litter box. If the creature's going to whine, it can do so. In its room.
I know that animals, especially incontinent ones, can be terribly stressful - but there are creative ways to manage it so that the creature doesn't have to get put to sleep.
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Two Words: Dog Whisperer
Cesar Romero and this Dog Whisperer program has done WONDERS - I'll vouch for it. cesarmillaninc.com
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Cary, that response was uncalled for
Euthanizing an animal is a difficult decision, and there are no clearcut guidelines. The LW doesn't need another guilt trip. Caring for an animal is an entirely differnt ethical proposition from caring for a human being. It has nothing to do with the war in Iraq.
LW, I would talk to a veterinarian before you do anything else. From what you say, the dog might not be in good health. (Eleven is fairly old for some dogs, and the problems you mention might indicate cancer or diabetes.) If the incontinence and the weight problem can be dealt with, the vet will let you know. After the animal is gone, there's no changing your mind, so listen carefully to the vet. From there you can decide what would be in the best interests of the animal.
It's been my sad duty to take responsibility for euthanizing terminally ill pets. Deciding on the time for an animal's death is heartbreaking, but the procedures are humane. I sat with my boyfriend's mother during her final days of cancer, and I've also assisted my vet in euthanizing my cat at the end of her battle with it. If I could choose a way to go, I'd rather go out the way the cat did.
To conflate animal euthanasia with indifference to human suffering is intellectually narcissistic, however. Cary, if you are so concerned about suffering, why not go out and do some actual good in the world? I'm sure there is a school or hospital or homeless shelter that would love to have you volunteer.