Letters to the Editor
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he needs to take care of himself
Ever watch the original Clerks movie? I think the quote was "sh*t or get off the pot". Its exactly what your husband needs to do. Stop bitching about his life and blaming you for his misery, and step up to the plate to take care of things himself.
He's obviously convinced that he's some sort of victim of life, and there's nothing he can do about it but bitch about it to you. Don't take it! Don't throw your happiness away because he isn't happy. You can't make him happy by moving, the only thing that will make him happy is himself.
We all go through negative phases, and hate our life choices. How many times do we all wish we had studied something else/gone overseas/said hi to that guy on the bus... etc etc? But you can't go back, you can only go forward. Your husband doesn't seem to be going anywhere, and is stuck instead looking backwards and blaming you for his lack of momentum.
He's got to do things for himself, and you moving won't help him. You can encourage him to do something else (look for a new job, take up a new hobby, start a new course) but in the end, he's the one who has to do it. I know how hard it can be because my partner just went through something similar, but eventually I told him that I couldn't take his complaining anymore and to DO something about it.
I can sympathise with someone who is miserable, but is trying their damndest to change their situation, and just happens to be hitting lots of roadblocks (eg applied for jobs, not getting any). But I've got zero sympathy for someone who isn't really tying to change the circumstances that are making them miserable... even less sympathy for someone who insists on blaming their self-made misery on someone else.
So... tell him... sh*t or get off the pot.