Letters to the Editor
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Overachievers
One thing I see (mostly among my women friends for some reason) is feeling the need to pick up slack for others and the need for that to be acknowledged. There seems to be an undercurrent of this in your letter, in your picking up slack for others.
Your first priority is to do YOUR job, not your boss's job or your coworkers. If you do their jobs, it looks like you want their job. Your comments to the effect of what you are doing are seen as attacks on the person not performing.
In the long run, you do much better for doing your own job well.
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Or... they could just go for it
Just try to relax and fit in for a while, and see if things don't start going a little better.
Either that, or the LW could decide to be more ambitious and get some value from all that achievement. If offered a higher-level job... go for it. The LW might be keeping themselves in a lower position that they can excel in but is really too easy (read: safe) for them, versus taking on increasingly larger challenges to see what they can really do. Stress levels might be higher, but the monetary rewards should be larger, and the job itself might be more interesting.
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Go for it, move on up
Dear Don't Hate Me,
Your letter brought tears to my eyes. I have so many of the same issues except that my parents are still alive and their cruel judgments, spoken in my youth to me and other family members, still hang in the air even though the time of their utterance is long past.
Cary's advice is, as usual, right on the jugular - that we under-estimate our own difficulties and externalise them to the organisation. I just wanted to say, go for it, take Cary's advice, don't withdraw, just address these issues with behaviour adjustments that are entirely possible; we can change our ways even in middle age (which I sense you have not yet reached).
Like you, I have turned down management or fast-track roles from scruples of fairness or worries about being unable to do the job. I have also left jobs several times when I felt unable to cope with the intensity of my own passion to achieve, coupled with the corporate sludge of 'how things are done around here'. Yes, I know this sounds odd, but there were always other life factors that made quitting a logical decision at the time. I performed well for my employers but that was not the main thing they wanted. Now my life as a free-lancer has changed; I earn less, rarely get paid on time, have to sell myself repeatedly to new people in order to get those new contracts, and am viewed by most acquaintances mainly as a housewife with some slightly odd pursuits that happen to earn pocket money.
You still have a job in the corporate world and more than a foothold on the ladder to more money and more importantly, to respect. For life in the world is so little about who you are, and so much about what position you occupy in the corporate pecking order. Go for it, and don't allow personal feelings of unworthiness to stop you.
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Business 101 - It's the Work
It sounds like you work for a firm that is relatively small (otherwise the CEO wouldn't be calling you). And in smaller organizations, things may not conform to standard business practices.
However, one of the advantages of working in business is that there are more or less proven practices that can make things less subjective.
Right now, your company should have a plan, your department should have a plan, and you should have a performance plan. You should have clear, measurable objectives that are mutually agreed upon with your boss, and they should all be aligned with the overall objectives of the company.
OK...in reality, most companies are behind on their performance reviews. Sometimes the only plans are financial and the only things that get done are those that relate to incentive compensation.
Nevertheless, the reasoning behind the standard management/performance paradigm is that it takes the subjective and moves it toward the objective. A lot of business can be quantified and even qualitative factors can be clarified. You company hit its financial plan -- yes or no. You met your written objectives, yes or no. The important thing is that business should be, for lack of a better word, businesslike. There is none of the angst of the creative world where good comes down to a subjective opinion and good enough can never be determined.
As far as advice, I suggest some training in business. You could read books, take some in house training courses, or as a last resort, college courses. I would definitely suggest that you take a basic management course before you become a supervisor or have any direct reports.
If the work gets done successfully, you would be surprised how much people don't really care about anything else. If the company loses enough money, everyone loses. It's not personal, it's not about you. It's Business. Thank God.
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Been there, done that...
The workplace is very difficult for bright young people, because they come in all idealistic and actually believe the stuff that is written in mission statements, etc. They believe that it is all about serving the stakeholders, shareholders, etc.
Well, it ain't.
Most people are slackers, especially the ones who try to give the impression they are working their asses of. Whom you are screwing and to whom you are related is also very important. (The fact that there are written policies saying that this is not so just shows how important it really is to hide the basic facts of life from junior employees.)
The most important facet of corporate success is that you must think about how to make other people look good, especially your bosses. This can be difficult, especially when you remember how they got to be bosses. (Think how White House aides must bitch when they get home to their spouses. "Honey, I'm going to jail for that bastard, but don't worry, he will sign off on my pardon")
I once wrote a synopsis of a report on a notable achievement of a work team of which I was a co-leader. The synopsis won the annual top award for excellence in the largest government agency in my state.
The original report, which I had also written, was used by my boss as the basis (cough)for a Ph.D. thesis that helped him get promotion to a highly paid sinecure. As he was credited orginally as co-author, he could do this, and he did actually chip in a corporate adjective or two.
As a result of his elevation to the pantheon of the state capital, I was promoted to his job. Although that organization no longer exists, I remain personal friends with the CEO to whom I reported after my promotion.
I have since rejoined the ranks of the slackers, but for more money than before and no one I work with now knows about my secret history of awards and leadership positions.
You, LW, will get promoted soon because too many people will be fed up with you, but will the same pattern repeat itself at the next level? I think it might, if you are still sucking up to dear old mom.
You won't want to hear this, but if I was you, I would get out of the corporate world and run your own concern.