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Just what additional clue is needed to get the message through to all parties involved that this marriage is OVER?
She's cheating, repeatedly, and lying about it every time. He's cheated more than once - for "revenge" or not, it's still cheating. As Dan Perkins would say, DTMFA! To both of them.
Yes, it's going to hurt the kids - possibly, quite a lot. But that's something they're both going to have to live with, and probably spend the rest of their lives (apart) trying to make up for. She fucked up, and then he fucked up, and their poor innocent kids will pay the biggest price. It's the oldest story in the book, and it stinks every time.
What a sad, ugly mess. The sooner these two separate, the sooner their kids can start bandaging their emotional wounds, get the therapy they need, and try to keep from heading down the same path themselves as adults. I hope they make it.
Show some decency, the two of you. Get a divorce, and act like responsible adults throughout the process.
And before either of you marry or even date anyone else, you'd be smart to put in a LOT of hours of therapy to make sure that you won't do the same thing all over again.
You both just got an "F" in marriage.
