Letters to the Editor
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The Magic Goes Away
"The Magic Goes Away" is the title of a book by Larry Niven. I thought of it because Cary employs an image of your having simply breathed love and approval from the very air about you. Something that most of us only enjoy as children -- if then. In The Magic Goes Away, magical spells require the use of a consumable energy field which is fixed in quantity for each location and not replenished once used. Thus, spells become impossible in a location where the local magic field has been used up. In the story, the entire world's magic energy is nearly depleted and so the old world of magic is dying away, supplanted by life and activity independent of magic.
The analogy is a bit strained, but you have lived a magical life, charmed by the unconscious regard given to the more attractive among us. You are quick to point out your accomplishments and to proclaim your pride in the outcome of your efforts. I do not say that you are unaccomplished or that you have not worked hard for your attainments, but you have been afforded opportunities that are not quite so readily obtainable by your more ordinary looking fellow citizens. If you were more like the rest of us, you might have turned out to be, well, more like the rest of us.
So now you are beginning to notice that "The Magic Goes Away," even for you. Your appearance will not remain fixed as in your youth and your life will change. Snarling assessments of other people's appearance will avail you nothing. Worrying about how you will live your life without the magic won't do much good, either. Now would be a good time to learn to lead a life of dignity and regard for both yourself and others about you, independent of appearance. If you cannot or will not, it's all downhill for you from now on.
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A very timely letter
I'm 51 and aging rapidly. As far as I could tell, I was considered beautiful for only 5-10 years, after I'd had my kids and started exercising ferociously. It's painful to lose that beauty after having it so briefly. It's tough to look in the mirror and see my mother looking back at me. It's esp. tough to have the most gorgeous 18-yr-old daughter ever and realize that I'm invisible beside her. So what did I do? I had Botox. I had Restylane. I had my eyes done. I try to dress nicely. I still look like a well-put-together middle-aged woman. So I had my hair cut to less than an inch long. And now I get mistaken for a lesbian.
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re: anonymous 8:13am response to brightstar
"You're going to have to work this one out on your own."
Hah! From reading many of Brightstar's (1424!) previous letters, I'd have to say that he "work(s) it out on (his) own" more often than not!
God, what a pitiful excuse for a (supposed) man.
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Beautiful by whose standards?
The mirror in my 2nd and 3rd decades of life reflected a blank page. Where were the character building lines, and lines reflecting joie de vivre? Where were the well-earned lines of heartfelt sorrow, wisdom, contentment, love, and loss? The journey had just begun. Then came my 4th decade. There I saw a reflection of a woman I began to recognize. My face began revealing the inner-depths of a well-rounded woman. Ah, there were my laugh lines, proof that I embraced joie de vivre. I smile at myself. Two fine vertical lines above the nose, the eleven. I am a critical thinker. I am a student of life. I am learning. The swimming lessons are difficult. I have begun to swim out of the shallow-depths of my soul and tread toward deeper waters. I'm learning to become a strong swimmer. Giving and receiving love of family, friends, and adding room for the future. Empathy abounds, as I try to walk in other people's shoes. I have thrown away my well-planned map. I anticipate acceptance of life's detours and interruptions. I have jingling change for the tollways. I've purchased strength and a carry a pocketful of receipts, acknowledgement of my many weaknesses. My early life has softened around the edges. Childhood has slowly become a hazy morning fog within my memories. The journey is forward and I am getting closer to the center. I search for the next sign that will lead to a new chapter of life. Recently, I entered my 5th decade of life. I look into the mirror and am tearfully greeted. Tears of joy. Here I am. The lines on my forehead gather and show surprise. I am a seasoned swimmer of life, buoyed with currents of love and joy. My backpack has lightened and am better prepared for the second half of the journey. My emotions have traveled well within the depths of my soul. I've patched together a crazy quilt. Hard work has been well rewarded and the payoff shows in my well-defined face. Now, I am an experienced explorer. The question has replaced the answer. Curiosity is bursting within. My face is a vibrant map of who I have become. My beauty is in full bloom. Men flock to me and see a woman whose face reveals depth. Joie de vivre sparkles more brilliantly than any faceted diamond. I am a well written journal of experiences, love, wisdom, joy and tears. Men want my attention. They come to be here, with me. Impatiently waiting to be invited and embraced within the warmth and love of well developed soul. I look into the mirror and smile that all knowing smile and laugh aloud. My face is no longer a blank page.
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Comparisons are the trap
To my mind, the most important thing the LW can do--today, if possible--is to stop comparing herself with other women and finding fault. Although I do not have the experience of being a "beautiful" woman, I do know that since I made the conscious effort to find something beautiful in every woman that I see--instead of thinking, 'I'll never be as pretty as she is' or 'Thank God I'm at least better looking than she is'--my internal dialogue with myself has changed as well. I am 100 percent more loving toward myself, and I really have started seeing beauty in all different kinds of people.