Letters to the Editor
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Honestly, this is something the LW should have known was coming
First, she may be suffering from body dysmorphic disorder: obsessive thoughts about looks regardless of attempts to control etc. are a symptom
Second, at a certain point caring about beauty is tiresome and tiring.
I was "beautiful" once too and commanded a great deal of male attention. Most of these men did not care anything about me at all and were incapable of having a conversation with me.
I went to grad school and got a Ph.D. I cared more about my intelligence and ability than my body or my face.
I also gained weight...I used the think the world would end if I went over 125 pounds. I now teach at University and confront the beautiful youths every single day...
I would not go back to that time! When I was just another hot chick treated in a dehumanizing way.
Now I command the attention of both male and female minds: I teach them how to think. I dress up for class, try to lose weight now and then, wear heels, sometimes make-up. But they are not looking at me, they are listening to me, and that feels much better! And, wrinkles, a little plumpness, a few grey hairs...all disappear. I feel like I have power, but it is not trivial childish power (loved for looks...whatever...who gives a crap what strangers think?)
When I was in college and then in my 20s, I got so tired of the constant sexualized attention. People could not see past my physical value which got me ....very little, really.
I now feel liberated. Aside from gross men hitting on me and feeling like they can say anything because my looks somehow seemed to invite them in...my life and relationship to the world has not changed.
I look at the young men and women in my class and I don't see "hot", I see "children"--unformed minds and unformed characters. I don't even notice what they look like.
Good luck...you might want to learn more about body dysmorphic disorder if you really cannot stop thinking about this.
Lizzie550