Letters to the Editor
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Why did you end it, exactly?
Maybe you should apologize to HIM - it sounds like you guys were heading toward a full-blown relationship with eachother until he decided to push things forward with talk of divorce with his wife. Unless you are leaving something out, that is when you bailed on the whole thing - 1st your relationship with him, and then your mutual employer. Of course he was devastated - he was about to leave his wife to pursue you, and you responded by going out with other men, telling him to get back with his wife, and abandoning him.
Did you fear the intimacy of a complete relationship with him? Were you only interested when it was "naughty" or not fully realized? I doubt his wife needs anything from you, but he obviously still does. If you really don't want him, break it off and don't even speak to him socially. It's OK if you saw the chance to commit to him and decided that was a terrible move for you. You bailed, that was your decision, and probably the right one. If you decide you want him after all, go for it. If not, don't contact his wife, and simply tell him you chose to opt out of a relationship with him, and you are sticking with that decision. Tell him you are sorry, but you aren't going to chat with him at the gathering or any other time, and that you will only talk to him about work in work settings.