Letters to the Editor
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Cary's right...
The LW's story seems just a little too pat for me. She paints herself as absolutely perfect in her dealings with this ex-boss -- no physical contact, pulling out just when things got TOO intimate, changing her career in part to isolate herself from him, maintaining contact but only in the most professional and limited ways. And now there's this networking event at which, golly gee, they're just going to happen to be in each other's company again.
If the LW has been really been this perfect in her dealings, she certainly knows the answer to her own question. My guess is that she is still in love with this guy and is using this "dilemma" about a request for an apology as a pretext to continue the relationship. We've all been there in one context or another. Still hanging on to the drama of the winding up of a relationship because licking wounds feels better than doing what we know we're supposed to do -- end it once and for all.
Cary's advice is right on the money.