Letters to the Editor
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Dear Spazzy Pee Girl--
I'm not exactly sure what Cary was trying to say in his response. I found his response to be too full of his own personal shit and not terribly relevant to what you had to say.
So let me say this, from one Spazzy Pee Girl to another (I peed myself several times in elementary school, so I know just how humiliating that is): Play music with your friend. Don't worry about the sexual tension stuff. You enjoy making music, and you enjoy his company, so here is a great chance to do both. I think that if he is attracted to you, that will become more clear to you during your music-making sessions. And if he isn't, then you still haven't lost anything--in fact, you've gained, since you have had creative outlet to do something you love.
Don't refuse to hang out with him because you're afraid that nothing will ever happen between the two of you--it's rather a self-fulfilling prophecy, don't you think?
As for the rest, all humans are terrified of putting ourselves out there sometimes. In fact, I think that we're the most terrified when we're doing something that is so important and integral to our being, which is what it seems like music is for you. But that is what makes us shine, drives us to become even better. Just make sure that you reign in that voice, though--if you never try, then you can never get better.
Just because we peed our clothes a few times a million years ago doesn't mean that we don't deserve to be loved by ourselves.
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got you beat! 4th grade pee!!
Whew, girl, I sympathize. When I was in fourth grade , I was in ballet class... my ballet teacher was a mean old biddy and had some kind of Rules about when you could go pee and when you could not. I got myself into a situation like you mention and ended up peeing on her pristine dance floor. Egads. I still cringe at that memory.
I'm a lot like you, really, I overanalyze things and worry too much about the little things I do. I think there are a lot of people like us. My only advice is to work hard at being comfortable with yourself, knowing that you have special gifts and talents, and not letting the popular culture stuff you DON'T know make you feel bad about yourself. My parents never let us listen to popular music, or watch TV, so when my high school friends were all making Saturday Night Live jokes and references, I had to stand there like a dummy and pretend to get it.
But in retrospect (I think I'm probably quite a bit older than you), it's all for the best. I know things they don't know! My mind isn't cluttered with all that crap they ingested growing up! :)
Relax. You're just fine!
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Wow
I don't know which is more pathetic, the letter or the answer.
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Split it up. Do music without boys. Do boys without music.
OK. You break up with BF because you couldn't be yourself. But you used to sing and play with him.
Now. Some guy wants you to play an instrument, but you are a singer, and are confused and think you would be crushed if you sang and played and he was negatively judgmental.
You also think that maybe you want to substitute this guy for ex bf.
OK.....
This stuff isn't connected in a logical way, but in some big muddle in your head.
Split it up. Do music without boys. Do boys without music.
You have made a breakthrough and are less inhibited and shy. Great. Go with it. Develop your musical talents incrementally and systematically, staying close to your comfort zone. The comfort zone doesn't have to start with a lover, and this time around, it shouldn't.
Do whatever you want with boys.
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Dear Spazzy P*e girl.
KleenexCow- It wasn't until I read your letter that I realized I wasn't reading Glenn Greenwald. I love your name. wow.
Someone over at his site calls him Grennwold.
I always identify here at Cary *ennis's site.
The names are more interesting. *eeing in pants is normal.
Glenn's site makes me *omit on the linoleum floor. I still remember the orange colored sawdust and smells from vomit.
*eerer's p*e at their computer and at the Salon bar stool.
I think I sat behind the girl Cary's giving excellent counseling to. She also did cow flops in her pants on Tuesdays.
I wish I had cotton balls or a tissue to stuff up my nose before going to Glenn's reads.
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Spazzy pee girl...
...did you grow up in the suburbs outside Chicago?
Because I SWEAR you were my best little friend in the 3rd grade who always peed at her desk. And I'd always lean across the stinky aisle and ask incredulously "Did you just pee?"
And my friend would invariably respond "No, that water was already there from this morning."
And I'd always just accept it at face value. I wasn't the spazzy pee girl. I was the spazzy pee girl's friend: I'll-believe-whatever-you-need-me-to-believe girl.
So I think first and foremost maybe find a friend like that. I like to think I was comforting to her when she was mortified in shame and I was insistently telling the teacher "No that water was there this morning."
Anyway that girl went off to college and is wildly successful now. She pees appropriately these days.
I'm spazzy farting-in-elevators girl now. I don't know what it is about the ol' GI tract, but I always, invariably, have to let a really horrible one rip...especially, god help me, if a good-looking man is getting on the elevator with me.
Sometimes you just have to take ownership of all that. Just let it go. Pee, fart, scream, vomit, holler, sing, create, perform, this is just what you've got to do right now. If the guy in the elevator wants to let one rip with you, well, that sounds like a symphony to me. And what a fun one! Even with the stink, it'll be fun.
Listen: if I guy is going to invite me to fart with him in the elevator I'm going to take it because I know I have to anyway, and company sounds hilarious.
At least you want to do something that others will appreciate, and that is fun without the drawbacks of toxic fumes in an enclosed space.
Enjoy!