When my mother would walk into my bedroom naked and grope my genitals when I was twelve, I would suggest that the intent of her nudity was that it was part of a sexual interaction.

When my father would stride into the bathroom while I was bathing, pee into the sink, then comment on my male adolescent development while he sported a partial erection, I would suggest that the intent of his nudity was that it was part of a sexual interaction.

When my wife and I rescued my grand-nieces and nephew from a squatter's environment in a slum, and it was necessary to shuck months of accumulated grease, grime and crud from the kids, and they were terrified by being alone in the bathroom, my gently taking each of them into the tub was a matter of cleanliness. When my nephew couldn't be in the water alone, I went in with him, naked. For him, my being naked, was, in that moment, I belive, a matter of parity, of a level playing field. And, we got the kid clean. And, in playing with the water, this kid laughed for the first time in weeks.

So, LW, it is a matter of intent, and that your intent is convenience, not strutting, then what you do can be comfortable. however, shortly, yoru ten year old boy will have emerging intent all by himself. Boys frequently develop crushes on moms, they're there, they're close, and they're familiar. I would suggest that your nudity might, as puberty emerges, be construed in a more convoluted way as he he struggles with hormone rushes, body changes and all that goes with his shifting from boyhood to manhood. I'm also going to suggest that your nudity gives them permission for the same, and frankly, any self-respecting adolescent boy or girl is gonna want to cover up, from time to time, as they adjust to the changes they are going through. Hitting puberty is an intensely personal deal.

So, innocent as it is, I might suggest that prudence would lead yout to suiting up. You've got seven years before he goes away to college, and then you're free to strip down, once again.

I live in Japan and feel the need to correct the former incorrect correction. Families do bathe together, and it is totally appropriate for any combination of family members to bathe together EXCEPT for a past-puberty child to bathe with a parent of the opposite sex. The child chooses when to stop bathing with the parent of the opposite sex, and this is kind of one of those my-little-girl-is-growing-up moments that makes dads nostalgic, and they talk about it weepily at work. I know about this stuff from the time when I used to live with host families.

There are also the pervasive public baths, which are gender separated but behind the men's and women's curtains everyone walks around naked between the various baths, the washing area, and the mats for resting. Almost no one is seriously uncomfortable using these baths. You have a quite small towel you can put in front of your private-est parts if you feel uncomfortable, but it is just as common to use it for nothing but wiping the sweat off your face. I have no idea where the thing about wearing a robe until you lower into the bath comes from. I particularly enjoy public baths and have used them in all parts of the country, and there is no such thing.

You see everyone in these baths from tiny babies who still have to be held, to very old women, and including below-puberty-aged children of the opposite sex. I have seen a grandmother with her two little grandsons in the public bath, and it's absolutely nothing anyone blinks an eye about.

Also, Japan is generally just a little less worried about modesty. I am not idealizing my adopted culture -- gender roles in here are in general a bit stuck in the 50s, but they lack the concept of a "slut," something really damaging to women in the west.

My blood really boiled, by the way, at the anonymous poster who said "The risk to the daughter is even greater: if she doesn't learn that her nudity and sexuality are something special...she'll probably turn into the town slut, giving it away to anyone..." This poster said he/she was not a prude. OK, you are worse than a prude, you are extremely sexist. WHY is it a greater risk for the daughter to grow up free about her body than the son? Why can only women be sluts? What does womanhood have to do with it?

Regarding the original question, it seems that according to the other letters posted people have vastly different experiences with family nakedness, so it seems very hard to make a rule. I know that my parents were never naked around me, but I wish they had been. Because I never saw an adult's naked body as a child, I had a bizarre fear of what the big hideous bear-like things must look like. I have often envied the little Japanese kids who have seen naked adult bodies since before they can remember and never had to wonder.

I also have little natural inclination toward modesty myself and always felt hurt that my family doesn't like me to be out of my bedroom even in a large towel. I always felt it would be nice if being family, we could not freak out about stuff like that.

That is just my experience though, and it doesn't seem typical.

Sorry for my long letter to those who think Japanese culture is not relevant to the discussion.

I don't think it's irrelevant because it's not ALL that freaking different over here -- it's a first-world society in a lot of communication with the West.

It couldn't be truer that the issue has to be discussed within cultural context. HOWEVER, America is such a mix of cultures. You can and should choose / make your own culture, and learning about the ways in which other cultures have made better choices in certain areas can be of help in doing this.

Also, the LW was asking about all those psychologists who said family nakedness was so bad for those children. Are psychologists supposed to evaluate the health of a situation according to values of individuality and privacy in North America, or on a deeper and more basic human level?

That's my question I guess. I know that, living in a place with totally different ideas about the issue, I too had the this-has-to-be-a-joke reaction about the universal condemnation of Spears being naked around her kids. It's easy to be so absolutist about something like that when you've never been out of your own backyard.