Cary is right. The day you let tabloid journalists make your parenting decisions for you is the day you become a bad parent.

Here's the thing about nudity and your child -- he's going to have many of the same opinions on the subject as you do. Children have a remarkable way of adopting our opinions and attitudes.

If you think that the naked human body is something to be feared, something to be hidden in shame because god forbid that anyone should appreciate its natural beauty, then you can bet your child will pick up on your belief and reflect it right back at you.

If, on the other hand, you think that the human body is beautiful, and something that one can celebrate without having it turn sexual and shameful, then your child will have the same idea.

I'm not saying you should gratuitously parade yourself around the house in your birthday suit, or let your kid watch you have sex. What I'm saying is that you shouldn't freak out over incidental nudity, not when the context is non-sexual and the exposure momentary and the event itself is nothing to write home about. If you don't freak out about it, then you can rest assured that you probably haven't damaged your child overmuch.

There will come a time, of course, when you will need to teach your kids about the notion of privacy, the fact that while the human body is beautiful, the decision to expose it belongs to the person whose body it is. They'll need to learn to respect closed doors, knock before entering, wait patiently while you shower or dress. Learning these things is part of teaching manners. If your kids are young, it will take some time -- kids don't develop the kind of self control needed to respect privacy until they get impulse control, which doesn't really even begin to happen until they get to be 4 or 5. If your kids are older than that and haven't learned about privacy, it is time they did.

Relax, the mental health of your children does not hang in the balance here. That is, it doesn't unless you let it.

One pysch who claimed to be a divorce moderator, heard my ex-wife complain that how I danced with my daughter in the synagogue social hall was inappropriate and she told me that I could not let my six year ride on my shoulders because and this is an exact quote, "her vagina was too close to my neck." (That was a female, very catholic psychologist....)

Psychologists should be given their diploma, congratulated, then taken out back, shot, and buried in a shallow grave.

You may wanna start covering up, in the best interest of your son. you may think its a harmless thing that prudish people obssess about, but the way our culture has been sexualized (unlike the Dutch, who really as quite liberal about their sexuality, even at a very young age) it's hard not for your son to start getting the wrong ideas. Cmon, sex is everywhere you read, whether its porn in the libraries, 14 yr old kid getting BJ's, teachers humping their young students etc etc. Again, you may think being naked in front of them is harmless, but as they grow older (and believe me 10 yr olds know more than you think they do) and discover sex, they will find this behavior very strange. and once he starts getting the wrong ideas, he will feel guilty about what he has seen and may end up having weird repressive sexuality. Now I know not all kids in the situation such as yours turn out feeling weird about nudity/sexuality but not all kids are the same. Therefore you cant afford to take that chance.

I saw both my parents naked or semi-naked quite a bit growing up. It really was no big deal. I hadn't even thought of it up til now.

But there will come an age when the kids will choose to look away and say "gross mom! put on some clothes!" - and you'll need to respect that.

Would your response be different? My guess is yes.

Most of the "feminists" on the board would be shouting "CHILD MOLESTER!" at the top of their lungs.

I beg to digress. There is a bit of found poetry in the link to these letters, from Cary's page:

http://letters.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2007/10/30/britney_spears_naked/view/?show=all

Hmmm.

I'm in NZ, & grew up in the 70s/80s, so maybe the culture is way different but... Mum was a hippy for a fair bit when I was growing up. We saw her naked lots. Lots of other people naked too. Mainly sunburned & slightly droopy round the edges, sometimes with hats & gumboots (if they were gardening). I recall that we kids were more prudish than she was, we'd wear underwear etc at the beach and stuff but really, we couldn't care less what she had on, that was just Mum. Except at the age when we were just completely embarrassed _by_ her, which most kids go through. (I remember pleading with her not to dance in front of anyone! ) Now? Hm, I feel OK to me, must ask my bro what his take on it is... Our childhood has certainly helped in that I feel comfortable with my naked self around my partner; and I'm pretty damn good at drawing the figure — handy for an artist!

Letter Writer: You are an excellent mother. You are brave, strong, and compassionate. You want what is best for your children and you sacrifice to give them the best life they can have. There should be more parents like you in this world.

I believe that by choosing to not make a big deal out of nudity you are making a healthy choice for your children, and for our culture. As others have noted, the United States has huge cultural taboos against nudity. We could discuss the roots and sexual outgrowths of these taboos for days, but what it boils down to is that we come from "a land of prudes."

You should be clear on what you are doing though. To you nudity is no big deal. I applaud that, but you should remain very aware of how that perception may be interpreted by the norm-enforcers of our society. Just looking at the letters posted here gives a good idea of how annoyed people can be at your choice to flaunt the norm, and these are more liberal than people you might encounter elsewhere.

The enforcers of social norms can be brutal. They can be vicious. They do not care about you or your children, but only that you adhere to the norm. They believe that any deviation from these norms is inherently harmful.

I say this because you are choosing to change a social norm. You are giving your children the power to choose whether or not they agree with that norm, and the power to determine for themselves if they want to follow that norm. I commend you for this, and encourage you to continue.

But recognize that you may encounter challenges along the way. You may eventually be confronted by other parents, by members of the community, or your church, or your children's school. They may come to you and try to enforce the nudity-taboo. They may threaten you. They may ostracize you and your children.

I don't say any of this to put fear in your heart, but to draw your awareness to the choice you are making. I believe it is the right choice, and I believe that making that choice is the key to creating change.

I'm a proponent of personal activism, of direct action. I believe the best way to change our culture is to actively and directly break the norm and reshape it in the image we desire. For me, this means kissing my male friends in public as well as in private. It means being open about my religion and spirituality. It means turning down plastic bags when I don't need them, and it means not shopping at a store if I don't like their politics. For me it means living collectively, pooling the resources of my friends and family to create beautiful, full lives for each of us. For me it means not being ashamed of my bodily functions, and peeing with the door open.

For you, it sounds like it means being a good mother without allowing other peoples issues to influence you. For you, it sounds like it means teaching your children that the human body is beautiful. For you, it sounds like it means teaching them to respect themselves and others, and teaching them to be strong and make their own choices.

It is by doing what we believe is right, regardless of what the norm-enforcers say, that we create the world we want to live in. I encourage you, and I wish you the best.