I'm from a very naked family. My parents found it easier to get all of us bathed and dressed together, so I have memories of being in the shower with both of my parents and my brother at a young age. It was just what was convenient. As we got old enough to take baths ourselves, it limited our exposure to their bodies, but there were still occaaions from time to time, living in the same house, where it happened. No, not traumatic, and I do think it really helped me understand that nudity and sexuality are too different things.

Now this is interesting to me: in the evenings when my parents would be relaxing, they'd be in the living room watching TV, dad in his boxers (with their big gap in front) and mom in her sheer nightgowns. Somehow it never bothered me to see my mom in hers, but I didn't like my dad sitting around that way. It FELT like I thought he was a big embarrassing slob, but now looking back at it as an adult, I think it was the stirrings of sexual unease in myself - but there was nothing sexual about it from his side.

I'd rather not have that memory, but I don't think I was damaged by it. Seems to me the line between being natural and overdoing it is pretty fine. But part of growing up is open conflict and secret embarrassment with parents and while uncomfortable, I don't think it's the same as being really damaged.

I think the responses would be the same, but more strictly advising to cover up as your children approach puberty.

oh god, I can't believe I just typed that, that is so not how I feel! cover up!! that's so weird!!

I have this weirdly vivid memory of accidentally seeing my grandfather get out of the shower and it was kind of traumatizing!

on the other hand, I helped my grandmother as a caretaker for the last year of her life, and she was naked all the time, and helpless, and I thought her body was beautiful and strong.

this one author, AM Homes (girl!), writes alot about adolescent sexuality and how taboo it is and how terrifying it is to remember all those things you try not to remember you remember, about being naked around your siblings or taking a bath with your father and mother or, I swear this happened, I showed my butt to a black girl in the elementary school bathroom. And she said, "I've never seen a white person's butt before." And I said, "I've never seen a black person's butt before."

Memory is haphazard. So there.

In fact, she should not only put some damned clothes on, she should buy a gun or two for the house, drive a huge gas-guzzling car, run up scads of debt, and make sure she instills a good dose of racism and homophobia in her kids. Conform!

I'm 34 and my mom walked around naked quite a bit when I was a child (and no, she wasn't a nudist or a hippie). I don't think I'm screwed up as a result and in fact I think I have a fairly healthy body image because by being comfortable in her nudity, she made it clear to me that a body is just a body, and there's nothing shameful about it. Perhaps the only problematic by-product is that *I* felt comfortable running around naked and would often run outside without my top on (I was 4, OK?). My parents used to laugh and call me "Miss Modesty," which I thought must have been a great compliment.

I feel sorry for my friends who rarely feel comfortable being nude because their parents made them feel shameful about it. Couldn't the parents see that shame about nudity translates to shame about the body itself? Hell, maybe if some of these women had seen their mothers naked, they wouldn't be so freaked out about a little bit of cellulite here and there. Or asymmetrical breasts, stretch marks, etc.

Cheers for you, LW!

I hope I can be a mom that cool with kids that cool someday.

japan has all kinds of problems with sex. sex slaves imported by the mafia from poorer asian countries, really bizarre frightening porn, far too much love for girls in school uniforms, other things that don't come to mind but they can be really weird about sex here.

what they don't have is the double standard. sexually (though not in all other areas) what is all right for men is all right for women.

this has nothing to do with evolution and enlightenment. this has to do with religion having never been important in japan. the double standard is a sickness caused by the place of religion in American culture.

also, none of this is really the point because the people are correct who pointed out before that the issue is the equating of nudity and sexuality. public baths where mainstream citizens feel comfortable naked around each other = no relation to borderline pervs groping (clothed) women on trains.

My little family unit would never survive without open communication and honesty. We're too busy and otherwise occupied to wonder for too long to ourselves what the others of us might be thinking. After reading a very limited amount of the letters posted in response to my question to Cary (I wonder how Cary takes this kind of criticism every single day??!), I decided to just talk to my son about it. 'Cause that's what we do. We talk. A lot.

It's a nice way to be.

So this morning, as my son and I were sifting through a pile of unfolded clothes looking for a pair of socks for him to wear today I asked him if he's had enough of the seeing me naked.

He said, "Yeah, I guess so. I have to grow up some time."

So we made a plan that he announces himself before blasting into my room in the morning and that I would do my part to warn him if I needed to change clothes.

It was a 1 minute conversation followed by my son showing me how he can make the cat dance by holding treats in the air. No drama, no confusion.

And I have no regrets about my decisions to let them see me nude. Both my kids are kind, compassionate, funny, silly, smart and insightful little beings with lots of kind compassionate, funny, silly, smart, insightful friends. I think we're all going to be quite all right.

Cheers,

The Letter Writer