I'm always amused and confused by people who presume that atheism is somehow synonymous with immorality or amorality. I consider myself MORE moral than the average Christian that I have encountered, and here's why: I make an active effort to do no harm to others, to live ethically, to make decisions that are in the best interest of everyone involved vs. making decisions that benefit mostly or only me...and I make a sincere effort to practice compassion and empathy whenever possible. Yet I don't believe in God. I don't believe anyone is watching me and keeping score in the sky, and that I'll have to atone for any wrongdoing in the afterlife. But nevertheless I strive to be and cause good. I do so because I have a deep drive that can only be called instinct; my morality is as human as my hunger and my thirst and my intelligence. It is an integral part of me; I can make the decision, thanks to my large brain pan, to disregard that instinct at any time, but never without the awareness that I am doing so. I accept my morality as part of my humanity.... and act accordingly. Isn't that just as valuable as doing unto others solely because I'm scared some righteous Old Testament God will condemn me to hell for the sins He sees but no other?

There's an old rule about avoiding religion and politics in conversation, and the reason for that is that it is likely to lead to arguments of an unpredictable ferocity. Depending on the company you're in, it's often absolutely correct.

So, one way to think about your situation is, what do you want out of your future conversations? Do you want nice, agreeable socializing? Or do you want drama? Or do you want something in between? I'll guarantee you this, if you are having a conversation with True Believers in anything, and you challenge those beliefs, the most likely outcome is bad feelings. The least likely outcome is that anybody will change their minds.

That's the danger of hanging with True Believers (whether Fundamental Christians or Fundamental Atheists). The particular subject matter isn't really important; the only thing that does matter is, are you one of them? If you're not, you're not, and once they know it, don't count on their support anymore.

So, since everybody really is a True Believer in something, my personal policy is to only hang out with people who truly believe in the doctrine of Open-Mindedness, at least when I really want to have a substantive conversation. Thus, the only way you will ostracize yourself is if you declare yourself to be a True Believer in something (besides the doctrine of Open-Mindedness).

I know that sounds like I'm trying to be snarky, or hip, or ironic, or something, but I really do think that's how most groups of people operate. Everybody believes in something, even if it's that Everything Is Challengeable (those people are called Scientists, by the way, and I really think they are the most delightful company, as long as you don't start spouting dogma of some sort or another).

My question to you is this:

What if a Christian went to a strongly atheist school which demanded that the Christian sign a statement of disbelief, wanted to come out as a Christian because they felt guilty about lying?

Would you give the same advice? Somehow I doubt it.

A majority of supposedly legal contracts contain BS that is known to be BS by the people who ask for your signature. Most contracts are written to scare the crap out of people, but contain mostly unenforcable provisions. Ethically speaking, you are probably much purer than the people who drew up that piece of paper or the people who insisted you sign it.

Probably what the college wanted was to weed out people who would openly defy or argue their beliefs, and in this respect I can't really blame them. If you have no intention of starting a reign of terror at your college in the form of constantly challenging and/or belittling their beliefs, I see no reason why you can't just finish your education incognito so to speak, and get on with your life.

One thing you may want to consider though, is how well-known your college is. Does getting a degree mean that people will automatically assume you are a devout Christian? If so, are you ready to explain why at that junction you are no longer or never were religious?

You say that your relationship with your parents was never that close until recently. Is it because you are now going to this college? If going to a certain religious institution is a condition of your parents love, you have bigger problems than can be dealt with in an advice column. Christians of the "love Jesus, or else!" variety have walls built around them that no one can penetrate. I wouldn't feel bad about lying to them either - you are only giving them what they want. Believe me, I know how hard it is to have parents who will never really be "close," but there are plenty of other people who will love you for yourself.

After you graduate, find a city, a group of friends, a job where you can be yourself. Visit your parents twice a year and send them presents on their birthdays. Call them on the phone occasionally and talk about the weather. Be happy.

Speaking as an atheist who is surrounded by people who are fervent about their faith, the way you out yourself will be a determinant in how you are perceived by others.

I tell people that I am an atheist when they have assumed that I am religious--generally Christian. I have told people that I am an atheist when I have been sent e-mails that are strongly religious (not appropriate in the workplace anyway), or when disparaging remarks have been made about atheists or atheism. I am out, and I do not shrink from stating my unbelief in a situation in which to refrain from doing so would allow bigotry to reign. That being said, I do not say anything other than, "Thank you," to those who say they are praying for me in times of illness or distress. When you come out, being gracious in the presence of others' beliefs--when yours are not being attacked--helps promote the idea that maybe atheists are just like everybody else: kind, unkind, smart, stupid, moral, immoral--human.

And to not acknowledge your atheism when appropriate is to deny who you are. Trust that the people to whom you truly matter will take your atheism as simply one more aspect of your person.