I believe proper usage would dictate the word whoever instead of whomever. Please whoever knows for sure, correct me if I am wrong.

Interesting that in this day and age, being atheist can require a certain degree of calculated closeting. I only disclose that I am atheist to people whom I truly trust or strangers who attempt to proselytize. I let the majority of my friends and associates believe what they want to believe, without making any statement either way. As an atheist, you have to be sensitive to the fact that humans didn't have any real empirical evidence as to what caused disease, weather calamity, etc. until about 100-150 years ago. We are both hard wired and heavily socialized to believe in the metaphysical. Given that life is no easy business, religion is what keeps many people from jumping into the abyss. And, while it is a form of hope built on denying objectivity, it is hope, nonetheless. When you reveal your atheism to true believers, 99% of the time you risk their rejection. Because true believers consider atheists to be ruthless, amoral sorts, and when they discover that you, their very nice, moral friend, relative, whatever, is an atheist, it creates a cognitive dissonance for them that is so profound and disturbing, that they must reject you in order to revalidate their identity, ignorance and all.

So, don't ask, don't tell and seek out like minded individuals whom you can trust. It's how I handle being an extremely hard core atheist.

1. How did you end up at a religious university in the first place? You say you're a transfer student, so you obviously made a deliberate choice and obviously had been accepted to at least one other school. What factors made you choose this school even though you're an atheist?

2. How often does discussion of religion actually come up in your circle? I'm wondering because the only reason my own decision to leave the church came up in discussion is because I was a teenager living with my parents at the time so I had to tell them I wasn't going to church. How feasible is it to not say anything at all? What would happen if you didn't say anything unless the topic came up naturally?

I left the church almost 15 years ago after coming to the realization that I had never believed in god despite my best efforts. I have been reflecting on this extensively, and came to realize that it's really about honesty and integrity, and rejecting hypocrisy. If I were to go through the motions of religion to please the people around me, I'd be a hypocrite - I'd just be putting on a show in an attempt to impress god, as though god weren't omniscient enough to see through it. (Isn't there a parable about this, with a Pharisee praying really loudly and gloatingly in a temple?) I wouldn't get into heaven after a lifetime of trying to trick god anyway, so I may as well live my life as best I can without lying to the world.

Not everyone is receptive to this explanation, but I find of all the ways I've tried to explain it, this is the one that gets the best response. Try swapping in buzzwords from your own denomination if it helps.

Also, be prepared to forfeit or return or donate to charity any xmas presents people might give you. You won't necessarily have to (and I found that some people took offence when I said that it wouldn't be appropriate to give me presents because I'm no longer xian), but mentally prepare for the possibility so you can accept it with complete sangfroid. I found that people tended to instantly take me far more seriously when I could unblinkingly say "No, of course, you're absolutely right, I certainly don't expect presents, it would be completely inappropriate," rather than just wanting to sleep through church then collect all my loot.

I recently read this wonderful article by Sam Harris about atheism.

http://newsweek.washingtonpost.com/onfaith/sam_harris/2007/10/the_problem_with_atheism.html

What especially interested me was that I am not an atheist and I agreed with just about everything he says. Part of the issue is what you think God is. To not be able to believe in a Christian and/or fundamentalist God, is not the only game in town.

Also,

www.MythicImagination.org

is a place to find a broader range of viewpoints on what or how the spiritual or psychological or natural forces in the world can be conceptualized.

I realize I'm not addressing your moral problem or your direct question, but roaming around in a wider field might lead you to thinking and feeling about it differently. People fight so hard about religion in part because it touches things we care about the most. The truth, what is the best way to live, how do we fit into the world. Those things should be wrestled with for a lifetime.

I am an atheist. I was raised by a strict Catholic mother and sent to Catholic schools. Nuns in full habit no less, egads. I tried to find a true, personal brand of faith as I was lead to believe it might exist. One that offered a bounty of gifts and joy as well as a righteous path for my entire life. I am now an atheist. For reasons of rationality and yes science. I read the histories of religion and the devil as well and could not help but be led away from this way of thinking in regard to how I wanted to live my life. The most surprising thing to me about giving up religion and a sense of reward in the 'end' was finding out the joy of living in the now all the while being a good person too. I don't need a reward in the end to compel me to be a good human to other good humans NOW. Yes I did make that a criteria for my goodness, damn it all. You be good to me and I will be good back. Silly rascals. Yet I can make my way through life day to day without EVER needing nor wanting anyone to know that I am an atheist. I can say that in a way its because I always have been irritated by religious folk who pontificate their beliefs and well...duh. My faith or lack of it is my business. I share if asked. My Mom doesn't know. I love her, respect her desire to practice her faith as she does and well, like I said, I love her. Why make my sweet Mom cry? I'm sure she really knows and I like to believe that we don't discuss it out of mutual respect and desire to have what remains of our time in this world be loving. I don't discuss politics with her anymore either, like I did when I was 20. Oh youth. Ive found that with this plan my Mom and other people who I enjoy having in my life even though we don't share all of the same ideas or beliefs get along better. Actually, we have been able to grow closer in what does connect us. Oddly, this does make me feel blessed. Id wait, develop myself and my entire belief system to mature and blossom (if you will), I guess most of the readers out there over 40, like myself, understand that you never know how you might feel in a few decades. Life's funny that way...I swear to god ;) Oh and my daughter who believes in the concept of a god (funny how that happened, maybe it was the 12 years of Catholic School education I sent her to...in High School I gave her a choice and she chose Parochial High School, who'd a thunk it?)knows I am an atheist and told me "Oh Mom you're just bitter". No, truth is I have never ever been happier in my entire life. She will just have to roll her eyes at me and we will leave it alone for now. Why? Because its none of her business and I really really love her and don't need to argue about it. Oh my I have grown so rational in my old age, I like it.