. . . and living in Paris before it fully dawned on me that my thoughts are my own.

There is something about American culture that makes everyone feel they must Confess everything to everyone, or else they are a phony. I don't quite understand what it is, but it would be worthwhile for you to begin by fully understanding why you believe you need to "come out" as an atheist, to anyone, including your family. It's not evident to me at all that it is something you must do. Your soul is your own. You are entitled to a certain measure of privacy while you weigh these questions for yourself. Your thoughts can't jump out of your head and hurt anybody.

The questions Cary poses are the kinds of questions a person will ask themselves over the course of a lifetime, rather than something a 20-year-old college junior is supposed to come to terms with here and now. Step back, and try to understand why any of this is being demanded of you, and why you demand it of yourself. And while you're at it, relax and enjoy a few sunsets, regardless of Whom we can or cannot thank for them.

Hitler was NOT an atheist. As for the rest, have you ever noticed that they're all from the 20th century, and they're all communists? In other words, they're the historical exceptions that prove the rule. If you look at history (or even the present!) there's no comparison.

Besides, do you really feel sorry for the Russian aristocracy, who partied while the peasants starved? The next time I hear "Well, Stalin was an atheist and he killed..." I want to say "Yeah, we're pretty good at it too. Don't piss me off."

Oh, and to the LW, and everyone else: COME OUT! Join the fight. The fate of this world depends on it. Take a stand for common sense and scientific fact.

AKA Smith, where are you? I'm in Dallas. Where's this scary town you mention? I was in band in high school, and we drove out to (I think) Tyler for one of the football games. Someone at the stadium made a "Your son's name" reference over the loudspeaker, at which point someone in band yelled out "Praise Allah!"

I came out as an atheist on the tenth of September, 2001. At university. I've never looked back.

As for being an "in-your-face" atheist: let's look at that, shall we.

Some complain about being forced to listen to your dissent. Some sneer at your need for attention. Some say you should not disturb the believers, and question your motives for stirring them up.

Forced to listen to your "belief". One, it's not a belief, any more than not believing in Zeus is a belief. On to the issue of being forced to listen to you: you are being forced to listen to their dogma at school, every day. You must sit quietly as they pray to their invisible friends. You must listen to your leaders talk about obeying the commands of an invisible man who tells them they must kill entire societies with bombs and guns. I think the "force" is a bit one-way. When they reference "force", they mean you opening your mouth to contradict them in any way. They have a solid, almost fascistic social contract that you must obey, and they have it because dissent of any sort is like acid to a belief in invisible friends. It doesn't take many people to point out that they are fools before their children take notice and the whole tapestry of enforced silence unravels. They NEED you to SHUT UP. All religions do.

As for your need to stroke your ego, to gather attention to yourself: are they freaking kidding??? Giant cathedrals, public prayer rituals at school and work, testifying about Jesus on TV, smug assertions that they and they alone are the true intended rulers of the free world, no taxes on their lucrative business -- the ultimate narcissists complain about need for attention? It's like Madonna complaining about a sixth grade singing contest. Attention is all they crave. They expect it as a given. They simply want none for you, as you are a threat.

As for disturbing the nice religious people. Um, this is like blaming a kid who wears a red shirt for being beaten by his classmates. Or more like losing your job or your place in society because you dare to point out they are talking to invisible friends. They consider dissent disturbing. Not even little old you, a lone voice in a religious college, is allowed to pipe up. It's a precedent. ANYthing disturbs a people busy indoctrinating their kids and each other that they are talking to an invisible zombie Jewish fisherman. That kind of belief is fragile, and the wind from a person's mouth can destroy it utterly. Eventually.

As for you ethics for signing a belief statement. Really. A school decides to force paying students to sign a loyalty pledge to a religion or one can't learn. And the column writer questions the ethics of the person forced to sign? Fascism is fascism, even if it is in the halls of a "private" institution. Human rights don't end where a property line begins. As for going to another school (anticipating the question), it is very easy to imagine a time soon, very soon, when it will be impossible to find a school in the US that won't require a loyalty oath of some sort, most certainly one to the "official" religion of the US, evangelical southern fundamentalism with a funny nose on. When one lives in a fascism, one learns to lie. Or you can leave the country. Or live your life in a virtual ghetto, careerwise, marriagewise, that exists for those who protest or dissent.

Congratulations on shedding superstition.

You're in a tight spot. I agree with what several other people have said- that you keep quiet, you get your degree, and you begin to set up your independence from your parents.

All of this is based on the assumption that you are still getting money from your parents, and that if you rock the boat, the money will stop. I have no doubt that they would use financial strings to bind you to their will, as they have clearly been using emotional manipulation all your life.

Just be patient. Be grown-up about it. You're trying to escape something- something that is specifically designed to KEEP you from escaping. It isn't going to be easy.