The reason I don't think we can use brightstar's position as an indicator of stupidity is because it is emotionally infected. Brightstar is afraid if he came out to his mother she would take his big girl panties away from him. He has a whole lot more to hide than his lack of religious beliefs. I will confess that brightstar interests me. He reminds me of those horrendous news stories where neighbors begin to recount: "He was real quiet. Kept to himself. Who knew he would do something like this?" -- as the bodybags of the remains of his tenants are loaded into the coroner's van. I wouldn't want to rent a room from him. Would you?

"I was brought to understand that there are few social occasions when it acceptable to discuss politics, sex, and religion."

I was brought up with the exact opposite value, as my mother impressed upon me that it was important to talk about politics, sex, and religion (especially sex, but in the confines of polite non-pressuring conversation) with everyone as much as possible, but to keep the conversation civil (which admittedly has been a difficult thing for me to do), and so my mother and I bickered, debated, argued, and conversed with everyone we could possibly find. Ironically most of my coworkers, neighbors, and close friends are hard core conservative Christians, but I have come to respect them (as long they don't say anything racist, homophobic, or misogynistic), and for the most part I think they have come to respect me. The ability to have open public conversation is America's greatest strength, and most people outside of America are envious that Americans have that ability. Too bad most of our (Americans') conversation is about sports and TV programs, which are a subjects I detest and find boring. In most other countries the main topic within their discourse is food and the preparation of it, followed closely by issues concerning marriage and children.

Stop worrying about this.

It is apparent that the leaders at your university are not living everything that they are saying. Anyone who did would not make you sign this ridiculous loyalty oath. Why would you worry about a promise to those who aren't worthy of your loyalty? This has absolutely nothing to do with your self-identification as a atheist. Although my guess is you do not know what that even is, given that the alternative seems to be these hypocrites. If that was my standard for believers, then I guess I might call myself an "atheist" too.

When you get over yourself and your strange ideas of integrity, you may realize everything you are missing out on RIGHT NOW! Yes, even at this university. Get a girlfried/boyfriend/hobby whatever. And get back to studying.

Grow up.

"Oh sure people can have their intellectual discussions in their personal lives if others are like-minded, but why foist this on other people in our daily lives."

I am going to try to say this with the minimum of sarcasm, although it may be difficult. What did you expect to find on a message board, particularly with regard to this subject? Clearly you came to this site for some reason, and I would be interested to know what you were looking for? Why are you here in this public forum if open discussion of such things offends your delicate sensibilities (oh drat - there goes that sarcasm again)?

(I particularly enjoy how you use sarcasm to chastise sarcasm: "Thank Goddess for Salon where we can discuss anything and insult others at will. I cannot imagine what outlet I would possibly have for my sarcasm and aggression if I could not come here.")

Why would you go to an advice page if you weren't interested other people's dirty laundry? I mean, if you want to have your voyeuristic thrill eavesdropping on other people's lives, please don't be a hypocrite about it!

And then to try to wash it all down with a load of kitschy sentimentality, with evocations of "what's really important in life" and sanctimonious appraisals of other people's lives - well, it really is a bit much.

Don't participate in the discussion if you feel yourself so above it.

LW, I think the answer to your question might depend a great deal on whether you're merely having to keep quiet about being an atheist or you're having to actively pretend to be a Christian.

Leaving that signed "statement of faith" aside for a moment, is concealing your atheism in day to day life with your friends--or when you go home to your parents--merely a matter of avoiding the topic of religion and nodding politely the occasional time that someone mentions God? Is it a matter of sitting quietly through a Sunday service, bowing your head for a perfunctory grace, and then getting on with it? If so, I'm more with those who say that your beliefs are nobody's business, you should resist the youthful urge to make everyone "know the real you," and keep your atheism to yourself until you've made a life for yourself where you're not surrounded by Christians. The parents are always going to be a tough sell, but the older and more independent (financially and otherwise) you are, the better equipped you are to handle their reaction.

On the other hand, if your parents and friends are the kind of Christians who eat, sleep and breathe their faith--the kind for whom the proper response to "I passed my exam" is "Praise the Lord!", who expect you to lead prayers in your dorm or at the daily family Bible-reading, who would be horrified if you dated a non-believer or went to an R-rated movie, who consider God's Will when buying a used car, and who would wonder at you if you didn't enthusiastically attend Tuesday night prayer meeting, Thursday night Bible-study, AND Saturday morning youth group--then I can see how the life you're currently living is becoming unbearable. There's no way you can be expected to put up this kind of elaborate and exhausting facade in order to keep the peace. In this case, I'd suggest finding new friends, finding a new school if this is the culture of your current school, and dealing with the parents as best you can, probably by avoiding the topic as much as you can without actively going along with their lifestyle (because it is a lifestyle).

About that signed statement. Why not do some research into whether you actually WOULD be expelled if your school found out you were an atheist? Unless it's actually spelt out in the rules that any student who loses his or her faith mid-degree will automatically be ousted, I think you might be able to solve your ethical problem by honestly talking it out with a counsellor or advisor of some kind at the school. Tell them that you had doubts when you signed the statement of faith, that you still have doubts, and that now you're starting to feel bad about having signed that statement. I could be being hopelessly naive here (I have zero experience with Christian universities), but I have the feeling that you'll find out that as long as you conduct yourself within their codes of conduct and you're not fornicating on campus or holding atheist information sessions in the student union, your doubts are a matter between you and God. You might find out the worst that happens is that you have some kindly soul praying over you, after which you return to class with the knowledge that you've come more or less clean to the administration, and that they're still interested in your tuition dollar. But as I said, you probably want to do some research before you take this step, just in case I'm wrong. Best of luck!