This person is a total drama queen. Nobody cares whether the writer is atheist, gay, Communist or a masterbater. Really, the school, your parents, your friends, nobody cares. Tell them or don't tell them, I'm sure they will say "whatever."

Liberal fundamentalists?

Atheism is not just about not believing in a god.You think thats what it's about at first.But when you find how other people react with scorn ,condemnation and outrage about something that seems perfectly obvious to you, it becomes something much more.You are entering another world ...a world where you don't just go along to please others, a world in which you stand by yourself when others don't, a world in which you begin to understand other people who are deemed " different " in some way and to develop compassion for them. Its a lonely world in some ways , because maybe you don't get invited to certain social events anymore ( especially among a crowd like the one you're involved with.) but for some reason the world is actually friendlier and bigger because you can relate to all people , even those throughout time who have had to strike out on their own for what they feel is their inner truth.What could be lonlier than living a lie?

This is actually the most important truth in the world and this is the most important relationship you can develop-the one one with yourself.There's no need for confrontation but neither is there a need to evade .When you have stood up for what you believe all kind of restraints will begin to crumble as society's dictates are seen to be just like their god -someone's idea of how it SHOULD be.And you 'll have to recreate your ethical system from the ground up,And you will make mistakes .And be happy to make mistakes because

now YOU truly are living .

I don't usually post letters to Cary's column. I don't usually even read his column, but his response really irked me! I did not read the other letters because I don't have time, so forgive me if someone has already said these things.

Cary, you act as if there are only two ways to be an atheist: a passive, negative way in which one doesn't believe in God but doesn't care if other people do and so keeps his opinion to himself, and a positive, flame-throwing way in which one believes in some kind of ABSURD CARICATURE OF 18TH-CENTURY MATERIALISM, and therefore wants to mock other people's beliefs and burn down churches. You seem to think there are only two alternatives for atheists: remain in the closet or become Richard Dawkins. I am an atheist and neither of these descriptions fits me. I may believe that churches and religious schools teach nonsense, but I don't want to destroy them. I respect the contributions of religion to our culture, even if I also recognize its harmful effects. And yet, just because I respect other people's right to their religious beliefs doesn't mean I think I ought to have to hide my atheism.

Why Cary, why do you imply that in order to respect other people's beliefs atheists should have to pretend they believe the same thing? Why should my being an atheist be perceived as a threat to other people's beliefs? Don't we live in a country with supposed freedom of religious belief? Does this freedom only extend to people who believe certain things? It often seems that way, but obviously such a stipulation would negate the freedom.

I used to feel I had to hide my atheism, too. I used to listen to religious people express their beliefs with patience and then decline to say anything about my own feelings on the subject for fear of offending them. I used to listen to them assault my beliefs, and like a true Christian, turn the other cheek. But why should I not be able to say to them, "I respectfully disagree"?

Isn't it absurd that people who believe in God should feel free to express their feelings on the subject while atheists have to make the difficult decision to live a lie or be rejected by their friends and family? Why should the letter writer be worried about offending his parents with his beliefs while he is tolerant of theirs? Shouldn't his parents have the same obligation to tolerate his beliefs? Why should it be such a big deal to come out as an atheist?

This state of affairs is just wrong. There was a time when Christians perceived Jews' disbelief in Christ as a threat to their beliefs, but, for the most part, Christians and Jews have learned to live together peacefully in this society. But this feeling of being threatened by others' beliefs still remains when it comes to atheists.

This is just wrong, and the only way to change this state of affairs is for atheists to stop hiding and just be honest about their atheism. I'm not talking about being openly hostile to religious beliefs, but just respectfully disagreeing.

Unfortunately in Texas, racism, homophobia, and misogny too often IS religion. It did not used to be this way but fundamentalism has ruined many, many churches and people. The Christian fundamentalists and the Muslim fundamentalists are the same type of people. Sometimes I wish we could put them in an arena and let them fight each other to the death, so that the rest of us could go on and tend to the world's wounds with some semblance of peace.

I have to confess that if my mother's religion was the fundie nut kind, I would have long ago severed my relationship with her. Your mother sounds like more fun than my mother.

The writer is only 20 years old. Why is it of utmost importance to finish a degree quickly? The degree is not the thing, the education is. Another year or two of study is not so long. Study at an institution that offers a more well-rounded education would be more useful anyway.

Why choose this Christian school in the first place? Surely there are other public colleges to attend. If not, move to where one is or take on-line courses.

Atheist in Hiding is trying to make the school and those who would reject or have difficulties accepting atheism as the bad guys. Some theists may be misguided or any one of a number of other good or bad things, but belief is not the same as behavior. Behavior is what matters.

A in H behaved badly by choosing what s/he knew to be a place with a system to which s/he did not subscribe. The school was clear about what it taught, the writer lied to them and to him/herself. No it's time to cope with the guilt and the disappointment and change course, er, courses.

Stop blaming others for the pressure and walk away from the situation. Nothing says anyone has to "come out" and declare one's faith or lack thereof. It is admirable and difficult to have the good grace to offer opinion when it's appropriate and to keep quiet when it's not. We all can be cruel. Religion - any belief system really - is a convenient weapon to injure people, stifle dissent or distort reality.

I'm an atheist myself, but to argue with my mother, a limited, mean-spirited, right wing Catholic woman (the kind who blockades clinics) who fervently believes she is responsible for my soul, will only hurt her and make her angrier than she already is all the time. Regardless of how badly she behaves, there's no point to my contributing to the intensity of her fury. I gain and the world gains nothing from increasing her misery.

On the other hand, by leaving her be and only standing up for myself and what I believe in when it is appropriate and useful, I get to learn how to be compassionate and I get to have a happier life, one that starts with being kind rather than blind. It's dangerous and self defeating to allow a system - Republican, Democratic, Liberal, Conservative, Vegetarian, Christian, Muslim or atheist - to become more valuable than people.

A in H is stuck trying to use belief systems as a ply to avoid responsibility. It won't work.