Letters to the Editor
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Anonymous, please read my first post on this subject
I actually didn't advise the LW either way about what he should do. I told him what I did in roughly the same circumstance, without stating that he should do the same thing. My other responses were aimed not at him, but at the peanut gallery of people who said, among other things, that coming out was some sort of Jerry Springer-esque exhibitionism. The fact is, if you are openly an atheist, there are certain things that you just aren't going to do - like go to church. So it's not always a matter of saying "Ta da! I'm an atheist!" There are often much more subtle ways of coming out. When your pious relatives notice that you're not going to church, they might begin to suspect that something is up. Until fairly recently I never explicitly told my parents that I don't believe in God. I didn't think it was any of their business. I just stopped doing the things that religious people do (and mind you, I had been going through the motions for a couple years up until I stopped). Last year, though, I went to the Christmas service at my parents' new church (my dad retired from the ministry last year). In participating in the service, I decided to split the difference - I sang along with the traditional Christmas hymns (which I quite like) but I didn't say any of the prayers (I knelt, of course, so as not to be conspicuous). I even put five dollars in the offering to compensate the church for the candle (it was a candle-light service). You'll be surprised to learn that I did not denounce the pastor as I shook his hand on the way out.
The problem I have is that religious faith is no longer a private matter in our country. The Republican candidates are now making ostentatious statements about their faith and how much they pray. The Democrats, having been faulted for being more reserved in their expressions of piety, are starting to follow suit. By contrast, I spent the whole decade of the nineties without giving religion much thought one way or the other. I thought the culture war was just a fantasy of a bunch of fringe lunatics. However,the term "secular humanist" has now entered into currency as a perjorative on at least one major news outlets (guess which one) and this "meme" seems to be seeping into the culture at large. And I think atheists need to stand up for ourselves. Honestly, one of the best things for the gay rights movement was when homosexuals started coming out of the closet. Although there's currently a bit of a backlash against gays, the cause of gay rights has discernibly advanced during my lifetime. And it's because gays got sick of being in the closet. Now, just as I wouldn't suggest that coming out is the right decision for every gay, I wouldn't suggest that coming out is the right decision for every atheist. Every person has to make his or her own choice.