Letters to the Editor
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To the Churchery! And then the Morgue
You're a grown ass man. I told my highly religious mother I was an atheist in front of my CCD teacher. Hilariously this lead her to cry at my subsequent doctor's appointment. Good times and better memories.
Now, as I said, you are a grown ass man (man?) and being such means you need make your targets cry in grown ass man ways. You MUST MURDER one of your classmates. It is the only way to make clear your intentions to retain your atheistic rights. Did not our Founding Fathers, having hoisted the BS 'deist' flag, a fugazi if there ever was one, then make sure to pitchfork the ominous John Bull? A syringe to the neck should incapacitate the godly loon. Then back you your place to store the body in a trunk behind the wall. Ira Einhorn wasn't a PhD boy for nothing. The man knew what to do. MURDER one, and be done with it. Although, remember to learn from Ira's mistakes.... you ought not leave the corpse rotting behind the walls for too long. Tends to attract rats... and Pigs!