Letters to the Editor
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What more evidence do you need that this is not a company you want to do business with?
LW - you got yourself into a bad situation. It's not your fault the guy was weird, but it IS your fault that you let him sit in your house for two hours terrorizing you and your children. Like Cary says, you need to see someone about this.
All you need from this company at this point is to be let out of your contract with no penalty.
What happened to you should not be looked at as some kind of 'lottery'. It was a bad experience, they should pay appropriately - and letting you out of your contract is appropriate. If they want to give you something free, say a gift certificate for Home Depot will suffice, but you don't wish to make yourself beholden to working with their service people ever again.
Perhaps you are talking yourself into the 'they should pay for my pain and suffering' route. Don't do that. After all, it is your responsibility and yours alone that you let this guy into your house and then couldn't get rid of him. Take responsibility.
Do not try to get a payday out of this bad experience. It's not only unethical, it is likely to cost you even more in terms of emotional and psychological fallout, because I seriously, seriously doubt that every single contractor and sales perosn you deal with in your 'free' renovation is going to be a paragon of professionalism, dripping with remorse and 'how can we make it right for you?' What if they do a crappy job? Do you really want to be calling them for the next 2 years complaining about how the dishwasher has never worked right or the floor is cracked? Do you think you are going to get priority treatment - do you think they'll go out of their way to keep spending money on you to make you happy?
Get out of the contract and start over with a new firm. Get yourself some counseling to find out why you are so willing - eager, even - to be victimized vs. standing up for yourself.
And count yourself lucky it wasn't any worse than it was. But please don't follow the typical American route of shirking your own responsibility in this mess, and trying to get some kind of payday for it.
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he may well have beaten her to a pulp on the spot.
OK, that's over the top.
NOTHING indicated he would do that and we DO have to rely on indicators or else we'd have to stay in our houses and never come out. He was rude, not a serial killer.
Gavin deBeckworth says to judge situations, not lock yourself in the housr 24/7 cuz everyone we encounter might be a killer. He also says to resist, to say no, to never go with them or let them continue with their manipulatins, NEVER let them take you to the next step. so, yes, saying STOP is good. letting them take you further down a potentially dangerous path is bad.
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What more evidence do you need that this is not a company you want to do business with?
really. He verbally abused me and my kids so what I really need is for him and his company to be in my house for the next 3 months for a full kitchen rehab
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How far are you willing to go?
Interesting assessments on both sides of the fence on whether or not the LW should have stood up for herself or passively gotten him out of the door.
Each situation is different, and each person is different. I grant you that. I firmly believe that every person should do some self-reflection about how far they are willing to go to defend themselves or their loved ones...because, when it happens, you don't have time to think. Are you going to submit? Are you going to fight? If it comes down to it, would you fight to the death? Strange question to ask myself, sitting on my nice cozy couch in my safe home, but many people face it every day, when they least expect to.
For whatever it's worth, the reason this man's behavior is the way that it is...is because it works for him. People have been knuckling under to him often enough for him to make this a behavior pattern. He's a predator who, out of many potential targets, picks one who's submissive and not likely to resist. That's what they do, whether they're selling magazine subscriptions or trying to rip off your purse. He does this because it works. Wash, rinse, repeat.
It's not the LW's fault for being naive. Many people are raised in sheltered environments in which they do not need to fear anything, in which they have never had to walk down the street and seriously worry about being mugged or raped. These fears may just simply not be part of her world or realm of experience.
But she needs to lose the politesse and develop some street smarts before something REALLY bad happens. Perhaps this will be a good wake-up call.
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This is almost certainly a scam
First, contact the police. This could be a con, you need protection if a Guido does in fact exist. Plus you were threatened in your own home, call the POLICE.
Next, find a lawyer through the advice here, you need to make sure that you aren't legally responsible for anything.
Next, Cary is right, don't accept a damn thing from this company. Do not let your greed consume you, do not be bought off. Plus I'm totally suspicious that some company offers your thousands of dollars of work gratis because one of their salespeople is a prick.
Last, get yourself a dog, a big one, no not a friendly lab. A boxer, doberman, german shephard, pit bull, whatever. Then take that dog to training classes where the instructors will help you train the dog so you can walk it safely and it doesn't become overly aggressive. It will help you learn to say no, stop, get down and not feel like you are hurting someone's feelings.
Next time someone a contractor, plumber, cable guy, whomever starts talking to you in a way you are unsure of, don't like, makes you feel unsafe, call Mr. Big Teeth to come stand next to you. Even if the dog is a sweetie pie, a con artist, a prick, just some in general unsavory person is going to think twice about trying anything. A dog is also good protection against home invaders, barking dogs get really annoying and noticed by neighbors.
If a dog isn't possible, you need to take some self defense classes. You allowing a man to talk shit to you and your kids for 2 hours, coerce you to sign something to get his sale, would not leave your home, this is dangerous and not a good example to set for your children.