Letters to the Editor
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You got a guy named Guido? Well I got a guy named Guido, too...
Excellent advice, Cary. Let me add to it.
Keeping your kids calm and feeling secure is admirable but there really are times when one needs to make a scene and that is a lesson you can teach them. They knew you were scared and uncomfortable but that you still allowed this horrible and dangerous man to stay in your home for 2 hours. Your poor kids, they must have been terrified, not safe in their own home!
What would have been empowering for them would be seeing you throw the bum out! Wouldn't it have been great if you had told the guy at the beginning: "I am letting you in but you have 5 minutes and then you need to leave." and then, after 5 minutes you got up openned the door and told that guy to leave.
Better yet, what if you made him give his sales pitch on your front door step rather than inside your home?
What if, after he mentioned Guido, you had said, "Guido? I got a guy named Guido next door." and then you told the kids: "come on kids, let's go get Guido" and you all left crazy man in his seat and went and openned the front door and you started yelling at the top of your lungs: "Help! Guido, come quick, get this guy out of my house! and bring your brother, Bud and tell him to bring his bat." And if any of your neighbors were outside, you sent the kids to them to keep the kids safe and to tell them to call the police but you stayed at your front door calling for Guido until the crazy threatening guy left or the police came.
Think of how proud your kids would have been to see their mom make a scene like that. Speaking as an adult who, in her childhood, had seen her own quiet and retiring mother make scenes like that when confronted by the unreasonable, I bet you kids would have been very proud. You are a good mother to have kept their welfare in mind through that ordeal but, next time, make a scene. It might do them and you some good.
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If she had threatened him with the police...
he may well have become violent.
Strange to say, she may have done the right thing: de-escalated the conflict and got him out of there. Instinctively, intuitively, she may have known that was what she needed to do. So don't pile on her too hard for not being assertive enough. That may have killed her, if the guy was enough like the scary father you talked about. People who deal with rape survivors know this. So, now he's out, and the woman and kids are all alive and well, thank God.
Now she needs to get him arrested and to press charges. That is next on the agenda.
I think it absolutely essential, damn the money, you can deal with that end of it later.
Yeah, you can probably sue them for a lot more. If you feel like it, go for it. But I think the first order of business is the maniac that is still loose on the streets.
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the name guido
makes me giggle because my favorite movie is "Risky Business," in which poor Tom Cruise is pursued by Guido the Killer Pimp. And his friend, who's in the car, even has a midterm tomorrow!
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You can protect yourself without being rude
We have a sign on our front porch next to the door that says:
NO SOLICITING. WE DON'T NEED ANYTHING, AND WE ARE HAPPY WITH OUR RELIGION. IF THAT CHANGES, WE'LL CALL YOU.
Not every vendor reads the sign before they ring the doorbell. I'm always happy to point to the sign, smile, and close the door without saying a word. This has never failed to work.
I should mention that because I'm a woman home alone a lot, it helps my assertiveness level to have a couple of VERY unfriendly-looking dogs standing next to me when I open the door. LW should consider getting a dog or two.
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by the way, who's your idiot friend?
While everyone's piling on the LW for being an idiot, I'd like to add a shout out for her "lawyer" friend. The one who doesn't know a scam when he sees it and thinks she should try to get more money.
Geez... I guess someone has to make up that 50% of people who have below-average IQs. Did I mention I have some money stashed in Nigeria, and I can't pay the fees to get it out?
Look, there's an old saying, "You can't scam an honest person." If it's too good to be true, it isn't true. I gave you a break for not knowing what to do when confronted with a weirdo, but I'm not going to give you a break on this one, because you've had plenty of time to think it over. You're an idiot, and your friend is an idiot. Try being honest and honorable instead of being greedy and shiftless and your life will get a whole lot better.
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Yeah, you can probably sue them for a lot more
WHO?
Lowes?--cuz I guarentee this guy did NOT work for Lowes or any other national home imporovement chaing.
Sue Guido? good luck with that
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Another slamdunk...and Cary read your psychological profile like a book!
Most times I read these summaries and I see f'ed up situations that I would have CLEARLY handled differently myself, then asked "Why did they do that?" Well, Cary really redeemed himself in this one, and practically showed the LW's entire psychological/mental "wiring" in one sustinct summary.
And this isn't just something women are suspect to, men are just as guilty in different situations, or older folks that don't like to question bad service...whatever the case may be. But there are times when inappropriate behavior needs to be called to the mat, and this was one of those times...Guido or not. I shutter to think what kind of passive behavior might have been demonstrated in front of the kids in the past, with your ex or anyone else for that matter.
Frankly, the guy is lucky my wife hadn't invited them over...the phrase "Go stand out in the yard while I load my shotgun...go on, I told" would have been uttered in the 1st. 5 minutes of this conversation.
As to whether this is a con or not? I don't know, a lot of assumptions by the LW are being made, and other folks are making assumptions on top of that. But Cary was right not to even address that here, because the BIG problem was the LW's inability to stand up to borish (and possibly damaging) behaviors...in her OWN GODDAMN HOUSE, no less...