Letters to the Editor
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She's cheating on you, or she will
This is a familiar pattern. When accusations of infidelity come out of thin air, they pretty much always mean that the accuser has already done what they're accusing the other party of doing, or at least is seriously contemplating doing it. The traitor is always the first to cry treason. I saw this in my first marriage and I've seen it in many of my friends' relationships as well. Whether it's a man accusing a woman, a woman accusing a man, or a gay partner of either sex -- doesn't matter, it's a consistent enough pattern to put money on.
I'm very sorry for your wife's psychological problems (my ex didn't even have that excuse) but they are not your fault, and you are not obligated to let them ruin your life. Cary's advice is way off the mark. She's never going to trust you; she's going to have to learn to trust a psychiatrist or someone else who has the training and experience to help her work through her problems before she's going to be able to trust anyone enough to have a decent long-term relationship. And as hard as it is, if that ever happens, that's going to be someone else. Get the hell out of the relationship before someone gets physically hurt, and get on with your life.
By the way ... Cary? You joined in his wife's baseless accusation against the LW, and you advised him to humiliate himself in a desperate attempt to stop physical abuse. That's one of the scummiest pieces of advice I've heard anyone give, ever. You need to take a good long look in the mirror tonight and ask yourself if whatever reward you get out of writing an advice column is worth the potential damage you're doing to other people's lives.