Letters to the Editor
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A different sort of life
We lived in two very progressive West Coast cities and now live in Baltimore (I moved back after years away). while this is the East Coast, our situation may compare to yours in some ways.
I suspect this is happening to many people who can no longer afford to live, or abide living in, the expensive, hip cities. Also, our generation seems to be striving for authenticity and hopes to discover a new source of it before anyone else.
Where we live is very behind the west coast in terms of environmental awareness, and other progressive ideals. I don't regret moving, but there are times when I feel frustrated at how backwards it can be here. At yet, this "backwardness" can also be seen positively- it's Baltimore's refusal to be like any other place. For better or worse, things change more slowly here, and this community defined it's identity long before we moved here. We often say, "But that's precisely what I want!" And we do and we don't.
Coming from the west coast where things are are nearly made to order for a young ( especially white) liberal, it can be disturbing to see how disturbed YOU are that certain things haven't filtered out to the rest of the country.
That being said, move. Do it. You'll take the bad with the good. It'll change you. And maybe, without changing the inherent character of your new town, you can bring some new ideas that enhance the already existing community. You'll have a different sort of life than you had before, in many ways you can't realize now.
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Real Midwest things to Consider
To comment on many previous writers - first, the midwest is not all the same. Even in Wisconsin. The differences between up north, to smaller town, to near Chicago, to Milwaukee, to Madison all do have their differences.
However, there are a few solid points that I would emphasize for the LW. First, property values and salaries are lower than the coasts. So while yes you'll probably be in a position to buy a home, should you choose to ever return to either coast, it'll be harder from a financial position.
But in terms of actually living in the Midwest as a transplant couple with no kids - meeting people, particularly native Midwest people - and making friends can be very slow. (note - should you choose to move to Madison this again would be different because the city's population is all more transient due to the university) However, the people who populate much of the Midwest are people who grew up there. People who have family and friends in town who've been there for years. People who aren't always looking for new friends. And often the people easiest to meet will be other transplants like yourself.
My mom and dad moved to Cincinnati from the East coast with the same attitude prior to when they had kids. And it wasn't until they had children that meeting like-minded adults really became easy. The Midwest does present the option of very close-knit communities. But part of dealing with the close-knit aspect is respecting that it may take you a while to really make friends and build your own community.
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grass-is-greener syndrome
I'm an OC native who left in 1997 to go to grad school in Rochester NY. Talk about culture and weather shock. Then I lived in Mpls/St Paul for five years, split between the twins (hint: St Paul is cheaper, less glam, and overall cooler). Now I live in Lowell MA -- we hates it. 30 miles north of Boston might as well be another planet. Smaller New England cities and towns suffer the same myopia as those all over the country, and in this one there's a lot of crime and people just barely making it. The only pride here is that Lowell isn't as bad as Lawrence a few miles downriver. I only live here because the rent's relatively cheap and the commute's not bad.
I'm leaving in January for the south end of Boston to take care of a house while a friend is out of town for 1/2 year. no rent, so it'll be fun. After that I'm seriously considering a move back to MN. yes it's cold and the people are too sometimes, but I was just starting to feel like a local when I got laid off and had to take something out of state because I'm too damn specialized, so I'm also going to get some certifications (CFP, debt counselor, big demand for those in the future esp. the latter) that will help that situation.
anyway, long story short: I will never move back to So Cal because 1) I can't afford it and 2) the quality of life there is appallingly low unless you are very wealthy. every time I visit my mom there I can't wait to leave. I don't care any longer about the hip restaurants and precious boutiques and trendy beaches and all that shit. it's not worth it. pull the plug and go, but just make sure you're not going someplace as many have pointed out that will suck and where the locals will resent you for complaining. try the Twin Cities and avoid the scary Stepford 'burbs there.
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Yes, move
But not to Colorado. You'd hate it here, really. All the other Californians who have moved here hate it too, they're going to Wisconsin. Wisconsin is the place to be!
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California isn't going anywhere
Southern California isn't going anywhere. You can always go back if it turns out you don't like the Midwest (which ever place there you're talking about). Find a place in the Midwest, rent for a year and see if you like it.
There's really very little downside to trying it out. You have everything to gain and little to lose.
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Don't go
Stay in California. What makes the midwest great is that it has so few Californians.
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Yes, move there!
As context, I grew up in the Twin Cities, lived in the Bay Area for five years, then lived in Madison for six, and now live in the Hampton Roads area of Virginia. I've also spent significant amounts of time working in Philadelphia, New York, and Chicago. Having experienced all of those places, I'm at the point where I can tell pretty quickly if a new place feels like 'me' or not. The Bay Area never did - I know so many people who love it, and I just never got that. When I moved to Madison, I instantly felt like I'd lived there forever and would never to leave (and I wouldn't have if my job didn't require it).
This is not to say that Madison is 'better' than the Bay Area - I know plenty of people who will vehemently argue that the Bay Area is the best place to live on Earth, and I respect their opinions - but that Madison was better _for me_. It sounds like the writer is having a similar experience after having visited the Midwest - it just feels more right than SoCal.
The next step is to think about why the particular place you visited in the Midwest generated those feelings. Was it size? The people? Affordability? As many other people have already mentioned, the Midwest is far from homogeneous. Places like the Twin Cities and Chicago are sprawling metropolises with lots to do. Madison, Iowa City, and Ann Arbor are small cities with very liberal populations and the sorts of resources/events you'd expect from college towns. And then there are plenty of small towns - some close to cities (e.g. Northfield, MN - ~20 min. from the outer Twin Cities suburbs, but still a small town), some not. The proximity to a city is key - the further you get from one, the more 'traditional' (not necessarily 'conservative,' but more farm- and church-centered) the culture is likely to be, and the bigger your culture shock will be.
Another option is to try the Pacific Northwest (Portland, Seattle, smaller places like Corvallis) - follow the path of many of your CA brethren and move north, to where the values are a bit more grounded, but the culture is still West Coasty.
And if you do move to the Midwest, prepare for a lot of (often-annoying) questions/comments from Coasties about why you'd willingly move inland. Just keep in mind that you're looking for the best place for you - and if that's a small town in Iowa, embrace it!