Letters to the Editor
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The pizza is important
My husband and I recently relocated from St. Louis to a much smaller city, still in the Midwest, but 11 or so hours from my family. We had a choice, in the sense that we always have choices, but mostly my husband received an offer he (we) couldn't refuse. Without that offer, we would not have relocated. My advice is get an offer before you make a move, because the offer will play a huge part in determining your future happiness in the new community.
Cary's advice to think about your family is so important. I can bear the distance from my family for now, and at 28, I already think a lot about in-law quarters or carriage houses, because I know that eventually my parents will need us, and my children will need their grandparents.
Also, my husband and I are very happy in this new community. We had always wanted to live in a loft, and now we do. Our neighbors are warm and friendly; two women who live in my building just stopped by for coffee and chatting. Our plants are thriving. Our only complaint is the absence of good pizza (we've tried every last pizza parlor). Make sure your future home is in a town with good pizza. Cary, may we open a restaurant so long as it's a down-to-Earth pizza joint?
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Move, but sublet
Its funny when visitors ogle at things like trees. I'm a socal native, and even though we have plenty of wilderness you can drive to, I have relatives in maryland we visit on occasion and I'm awed by the amount of trees. There's trees, and then there's just carpets of tightly packed trees as far as the eye can see, and the roads carve swaths through these trees. I'm just like, dude.
The simple answer is, totally, move. You only live once, it will be exciting to try. Sublet the o.c. apartment for a year or so though. At least one benefit of california is you can always find a renter its in such high demand. Yes quitting jobs and moving hoping it all works out is a big deal. But its not quite as big a deal as quitting both your jobs and your housing options. You'll have a foot in the door to get back if it doesn't pan out.
Population growth is a problem everywhere. A lot of midwesterners are complaining about how people keep moving in and turning their small towns bigger, and wanting to discourage more migration in. Um, do you have any idea what the influx into california is like? Unless people like stop having children I'm not sure what the solution is.
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Winter is going, going, ...
Ramus,
Winters in Wisconsin, or Minnesota, or Michigan are not 20 below zero for days. Global warming has given us winters from about 300 miles south of where we live. I.E. in Minneapolis, we are having winters from southern Iowa. In Northern Minnesota, they have winters from southern Minnesota.
It is rare that the weather stays very cold for a long time. Children are astounded to see heavy snows. Last year you could hardly cross country ski. The snow machines are working overtime on the slopes. There are thaws and freezes and thaws. You barely need to plug your car in, although it is a kind thing to do. Even the ice fishing has deteriorated, as has the snowmobile driving up north.
Nothing like the 60s, when we had 'real' winter, for days.
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Moving Tips
There are some things you can do before you move to find out where you are going. This is going to sound weird, but go to the online personal ad sites (together, so you can both look). Punch in the age range that you want your friends to be in. Punch in the town or zip code. In personal ads, people list their hobbies and interests. The only difference between married and single people is that single people without kids may have kid-free interests. Divorced parents will have interests that involve kids. Read what they do for fun. If you like doing those things too, that might be a good place. For example in some places, its hunting and fishing. In others, everyone goes to the theater.
Another thing to do is visit the sites that sell demographics for marketing. Visit www.claritas.com. You can punch in zip codes to see what the marketing professionals know about that area. The U.S. census also has reports on demographics in terms of age and families. Check political sites, as well. There are breakdowns of red state, blue state and shades of purple that may be important.
It is indeed a good idea to do the move before you have children. There's that much less stuff to pack. Do be aware that when you move, you will feel pretty stressed out for up to two years as you build new connections and community. That's normal. I have seen it with a lot of my friends. Also accept that a new place might not work out, so keep researching even after you have moved, so you have a Plan B.
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City-Data.com forums
When I was researching the move I plan to make next summer, I used city-data.com forums to help me make the decision. You don't have to register to read, and people who already live in the areas you might be considering are quite helpful in providing information on job markets, housing prices, schools, etc.
http://www.city-data.com/forum/
Good luck.
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"Midwest"
As has been noted, the Midwest is not a homogeneous clump of people, so before you pack up and move anywhere, do research and visit. Visit in all types of weather, in all seasons. Talk to people who live in the state/city, and talk to those who fled it. "Cozy and close-knit" to one person can very well translate into "stifling and close-minded" to another, and you will need to find out where you fit on that sliding scale. Figure out if you want to live in one of the larger cities, or if you can stand to be the "new neighbors" for twenty years in a small town. (The book "How to Talk Minnesotan" has a hilarious chapter on this phenomenon.)
One thing to be aware of is this: Winter does not just mean a new wardrobe, cold temperatures, and snow. It also means a significant reduction in the number of daylight hours. I live in ND (technically a Plains state, but usually lumped with the "Midwest"), and in December, the sun rises at about 7am. It sets about 5pm. That's 14 hours a day of darkness.
If you do move, make sure you take some kind of class to prep you for winter driving. The last thing you need is to be stuck without a car in the winter because you got into an accident in the first snowstorm.