Letters to the Editor
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About the Parents
Cary's advice about your parents is sound, but he should have told you to think about your extended family when you have kids. I have a number of friends who moved and found homes they loved 10-15 years ago, but they never realized how difficult it can be to function without any extended relatives. People often find that the miss the support of a mother or father once they have kids of their own. They're torn by the fact that their kids are virtual strangers to aunts, uncles and grandparents, and they envy those of us who have parents within driving distance who can pitch in on occasion.
It doesn't mean you shouldn't move, but as you look into housing costs, jobs, social networks and the weather, think about how difficult it will be for aging (or financially strapped) friends and loved ones to visit you and you them.
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You want to do it for all the right reasons!
The state of CA is cash-strapped and the schools there are suffering for it. I took my child out of that system and have never been happier (we headed for the opposite coast). I hadn't realized how financially deprived their schools were until I put my 7th grader in a new school system. I suggest finding one in a wealthy district and you will see the difference right away. The only other thing you may want to consider is weather... SoCal weather is hard to beat... on the other hand, there is that god-awful traffic... good lawrd!!
Good luck in your search!
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unless global warming has changed things, Wisconsin is cold cold cold in winter
In the late sixties we moved there from New York City because my spouse had a job at the University of Wisconsin at Madison and we moved to a small community about 20 miles away from Madison. We could not believe how cold it was for how long in the winter. I'm talking 20+ degrees below zero for weeks and weeks. We had to plug the car in at night so the radiator didn't freeze. It also got about as hot as Manhattan does in the summer. In the fall and spring it's really pretty. But in the fall the hunters from all the nearby states used to come and tromp through our 20 acre "virginwoods" without permission even those it was posted "no hunting"..and many times they shot into our back yard. They did not take kindly to being asked to leave. Go visit in January before you move there. But hey they've got one great Senator.
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It Works Both Ways
I'm so sick of hearing about people from other states complaining about "Californication". Anyone who drives on the streets and freeways of Southern California could tell you that our roads are clogged with cars with out-of-state plates. Some of them are tourists, sure, but most of them are people who move here from out of state and never bother to register their cars in California because the fees are supposedly too high. Who are often the worst drivers on the LA roads? The ones with the foreign plates.
In addition to being against the law, the refusal to register in CA also makes it impossible for out-of-state cars (which already don't meet CA emissions standards) to be entering into the smog check system. You know that brown haze that visitors from out of state complain about all the time when they visit LA? It's partly caused by out-of-state cars that don't meet emissions standards and don't get regular smog checks.
It works both ways. People who live in Texas might be sick of Californians, but we're all really sick of you too. Everyone has been recommending that the LW try to blend in when they move to the Midwest. Well, the same is true in LA. Blend in. Get your CA plate. Drive like you *don't* have your thumb up your butt. Stop complaining about the pollution. No one forced you to come here.
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AMEN Frenesie!
I was just having this EXACT conversation last night over dinner while we complained about all the out-of-state drivers who can't figure out how to make a left turn, or where to pull over, or how to enter and exit a freeway without killing themselves and others.
And hell, I was even a bad out-of-state driver myself once, years ago. :)
But I love it here. You couldn't pay me to go back to the Midwest. Good lord, all those fanny packs and high-cholesterol diners passing as "fine dining". And the strange looks any time someone displayed an ounce of originality and creativity! And heaven help anyone trying to get something as basic as a decent taco, even in Chicago!
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Since you mentioned Wisconsin
I've lived in Wisconsin my whole life (I'm 32) and I doubt I will ever leave. It's not perfect of course. The winters are a big downer for a lot of people, but it really makes a big difference if you are in the north or south of the state. Madison is not that bad. It will still get well below 0 a few times every year, but not typically for weeks on end. I can't ever recall that happening. The last few years, we haven't even had snow by Christmas.
And it's silly to say that you can't go outdoors and exercise or whatever in the winter. My resolution last New Year's was to walk 2 miles/day, every day. So I started at the worst time of the year. You just dress correctly for it. My only rule is that I don't walk outside when it gets below 0 or is snowing hard. Then I walk at the mall. That's only happened a few times. I'm up to 4 miles a day and 30 lbs lost, looking forward to another winter of walking. It's only cold for the first few minutes, because you're, um, exercising.
I'm not religious and no one has ever asked me what my religion is or tried to proselytize about theirs. Ever. I've lived in both Madison and several small towns around the state (smallest was 526 people). If anyone were to ask me if I was saved or whatever, I would laugh. No one ever has. I've never even been invited to anyone's church.
You absolutely do not have to have a big house because there's nothing to do but stay home. I was laughing at that, madcartoonist. Granted, I am near Madison so there is always plenty to do. I don't watch much TV at all. Gotta watch the Packers of course though. Maybe that is our religion?
I agree that it's harder to fit in if you move to a very small town. I don't even know if I would do that now. I'd be prepared to be "the new people" for years. And it's true that there is a LOT of drinking here.
Overall I'd have to recommend Madison. We have a great restaurant scene, one of the biggest and best farmer's markets in the country, and lots of stuff I don't even take advantage of, like the lakes.
Good luck with whatever you decide.