Letters to the Editor
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@ Anonymous 8:05 on "nymphomaniac"
What is the male equivalent of this term?
Would the LW be getting such a hard time if she was a man?
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I hope you are using protection
Setting aside any moral or ethical facets of the cheating aspect of this situation, there are serious medical concerns. The true measure of whether you are a sociopath or not is the question of how you are dealing with the health of your husband.
Are you protecting his health while you are cheating? Are you exposing him to whatever diseases your various different partners may be carrying? If you are not shielding his health, you do not love him or respect him. Much less respecting your own health.
The fact that you haven't bothered to mention this in your letter makes me fear that you are not taking precautions. Forgoing this aspect would make your actions reprehensible.
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Would the LW be getting a hard time if she were male?
HECK YES!
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Get real, everybody
If cheating made people sociopaths then a good 70% of the population is made up of them, and most wouldn't feel bad about it, they just get caught is all. So I don't think its really a sign of true sociopathy.
Is there some reason the LW doesn't engage in open relationships? Why does she set up ones where there is supposed to be the pretense of faithfulness? I would think its because the secrecy and cheating probably does something for her. But she doesn't make much mention of getting excited by it, she just seems to like sleeping with people whenever she feels like it. There's more people who are ok with that than you'd think. She should just be open about that and find someone who is ok with that, I don't think it would be that hard. A lot of people don't like monogamy, as evidenced by statistics on cheating. Surely you can find someone also non monogamous to marry you. Its the only ethical thing to do so that you don't hurt someone who wants faithfulness from you that you promised.
I also wonder if the somewhat extreme lack of guilt has been a defense mechanism against starting to feel bad from the very first time she cheated. If she was fine with it then there's no reason not to keep doing it, and she never has to open that can of worms and grow up emotionally the way we all did when we were younger and hurt people and learned from the experience.
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People are surprised?
The USA is filled to the f'ing brim with people only concerned about their own immediate best interests.
At least letter-writer isn't trying to blame her behaviour on someone else.
And anon 8:16--here in salon-letter-ville, if LW were a man, the crowd would demand he be burned at the stake.
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The problem is not just that she cheated on her husband.
Perfectly decent people have been known to slip up. The problem is that she is a serial cheater who feels no remorse. She is by necessity deceiving her spouse on a frequent basis. Really now, does anyone really think this is normal behavior? Does anyone really think this is anything but reprehensible -- except for the round-heeled gay guy.
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Don't Worry, LW, you'll get what you deserve
Hey, LW, look up Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Histrionic Personality Disorder. "Lying is typical of all NPDs. In their diseased minds, they see nothing wrong with lying. They see others as nothing more than electrical appliances -- useful as long as they function to serve their needs, and discarded when they don't. Narcissists need a constant stream of reassurances in the form of sexual exploits, liaisons and sexual adventures, often extra-marital."
Don't bother going to a therapist. You wouldn't want to be "cured" because you obviously don't see anything wrong with your behavior.
But, if there's nothing wrong with it, why are you hiding it?
Plus, you think there hasn't been any fallout in your life. Have you looked around your personal life outside your marriage? Bet you don't have many people who care about you, if you aren't f*cking them.
The fact the LW is bragging in this forum screams of attention seeking. People with Histrionic Personality Disorder (especially with high functioning Borderline PD) often are desperate to be the center of attention and are prone to promiscuous behavior and an increased incidence of divorce.
There's a huge chance the husband does not know or believe that LW is cheating ... and that he is faithful to her and believes she is faithful to him (I've been on that side of the equation).
LW is lying and she's risking his life with the possibility of contracting an STD and passing it to him.
LW, just divorce him already.
He deserves better than you.
And you -- you will probably die alone and abandoned. Just as you fear.
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@ Shadow
I mean people besides brightstar and Ben Dover (BBWlover) and other people who hate women. When the trolls these guys add their two cents, they will condemn her. If they weren't already the ones calling her a cunt.
So are you cool with her behavior? Would you be cool with her behavior if she were your wife? Have you yourself ever cheated on a wife or a girlfriend to whom you were supposed to be faithful.
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Slept with a client ----
Don't know what field you are in - but that is usually the beginning of the end.
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Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Histrionic Personality Disorder
Yep. I knew one who walked into her counselor's office and took off her clothes and tried to seduce him and then claimed he led her on because he knew she couldn't help herself and yet he kept seeing her anyway instead of referring her to a woman so that she wouldn't feel so tempted. So he referred her to a woman. Guess what? She pulled the same shit on the woman counselor.
How do I know? She told me so. She said that she just couldn't help herself. I couldn't get away from her fast enough. She wasn't pretty at all but she thought she was the sexiest thing that ever lived. She blamed all her behavior on the fact that her father used to give her enemas.
Hey, we all have problems. LW, what were your parents like? Any ememas?
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Anon 8:36
So are you cool with her behavior? NO
Would you be cool with her behavior if she were your wife? NO
Have you yourself ever cheated on a wife or a girlfriend to whom you were supposed to be faithful. NO