Letters to the Editor
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@ Pralines & Cream
I don't think the point is that many people would want the LW to be their wife. (I certainly wouldn't want a man who thinks like her to be my husband.) Rather I think that people would not like the LW to make a dishonest situation worse by having children. If her present husband finds out what is going on, her marriage is likely to become quite insecure.
We may make vows in a marriage, but our responsibility to children we bear is considerably greater, inasmuch as little children are completely dependent upon us. They could not survive without adult.
When children get mad at their parents they sometimes say, "Well, I didn't ask to be born." Kind of a smart crack, but it is undeniably true. Because we bear the greatest responsibility to those we bring into the world, cheating on one's spouse and making one's marriage at risk is unfair to children. Children do better with two loving parents.
To me, the biggest mistake concerning having children is not making absolutely sure that their marriages are secure. Divorce when a family has only one income or a modest income can plunge those children into poverty.