Letters to the Editor
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anonymity
somebody said that kubric was directing a film once and had three people in his house working on the film, and nobody knew anybody else was there. maybe for you as the boss this would be less stressful. it's not your job to make them happy. that's they're job. it's not your job to help them do their work. that's their job. it's your job to take care of yourself and stop trying to make a psychomachia out of your employees, though. and have a few beers, and to hell with it.
anonymous
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Not misogynist?
The first thing you need to do is omit words like "menopausal" from your business vocabulary. That's completely unnecessary.
The next thing you need to do is focus on the work. If someone comes to you with accusations about who said or did what, you need to dismiss that, and focus on the task at hand. Hint: leave the pronouns out of it. If you have people who don't get along, see if you can separate them.
Don't spend 15 weeks analyzing any staff member unless you are a psychiatrist.
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Go watch "Office Space"
When people are motivated by fear then they do only enough to not get fired. Until they get fired. Your organization's soul is dead and so is yours.
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Be careful
Be careful not to stereotype, based upon your experience with these workers. The idea that men are rational and women are irrational is, indeed, a stereotype and not reality. These are people you supervise, and that's that. Some people are rational. Some are irrational. Most people, male and female, are a bit of both.
I agree with much of Cary's answer. They are using their jobs to act out in some way. It is, indeed, inappropriate and foolish, of course. And frankly, it sounds pretty typical for most workplaces. In some ways, unfortunately, this is what happens when you are a manager. You have to deal with these personalities. It's part of your job, and unless you change jobs, that's what you've got.
People bring in their separate personalities to work, and no matter how much administration tries to keep things professional, it doesn't always work out that way. Frankly, your best bet is to tell anyone that walks through your door with personal complaints (the ones are invalid only, of course--and you as a supervisor should know the difference) that these concerns do not belong at the workplace and to drop it. As for the "let's rethink this decision" stuff, tell them the decision is made. If they want to get in on the next decision, they need to make their concerns known immediately. Otherwise, tough luck.
And if someone truly comes in saying stupid things about another employee being a favorite, change the subject away from the gossip and tell the employee she needs to work on herself first and not worry about others. Maybe some workplace incentives for the employees who work hard?
Finally, if they are truly getting their work done, maybe you just need to learn to ignore the petty stuff. After all, the main thing is that they are getting the job done. It could be ignoring this petty stuff would be best for everyone. If they aren't getting your attention with this stuff, maybe they'll let it go.
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The key is "...work is done well and on time."
None of the rest of it is relevant. It may be agonizing to watch; it may be painful to be around; it may ultimately cost you some good people (the rational ones). Or not.
But either way, it's not your problem. If people form cliques and point fingers and say "teacher's pet! suck-up! we're not having lunch with you!" exactly how is this your problem? One hopes that a person rational enough to do good work (it must be good, or you wouldn't have said so) is rational enough to say (mentally) "Geez. What an idiot!"
If some people insist on conducting themselves as though the work place is junior high school, that would be ... THEIR problem. It's not your job to adjust them. It's your job to get the work done, on budget, on time.
It's certainly painful to have made a decision to do A, and then have people whine that B would have been better and why aren't we doing B -- but you made a good decision to do A. So just do A. Period.
My guess is that Cary is right, and some of these folks are missing something in their lives. But even if they aren't willing to conduct themselves like adults, your managerial job is to treat them like adults -- who are responsible for their own lives and their own emotional happiness.
I'm sorry if this comes across as "develop the hide of a rhino." Perhaps that's all it is. Honestly, though, from the standpoint of a person who's managed and been managed -- you're not a shrink. Don't try to play one on television.
The best of luck.
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Speaking as someone who used to act up at work...
they could be bored crazy. They may feel (like Cary implied) that their work isn't very important, that they could be easily replaced, and that they aren't appreciated.
Most of all, they most likely sense that you have no respect for them.
I had a boss that was dogmatic, uptight, by-the-book, and conservative---and all I did was act up. I was rebelling against a) not liking my job, & b) knowing that my boss didn't care if I didn't like my job, & that he was doing nothing to make it more challenging.
People who act up at work aren't "stupid." They're rebelling.
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Get an outside perspective
Find an industrial-organizational psychologist that does "freelance" work. This is the kind of situation that I/O psychologists are experienced with, and having an outsider's view can bring a new perspective. I suspect he or she will tell you something like: identify a goal or goals that will require everyone working together, make everyone's contribution identifiable, don't ask opinions unless you're going to use them, that sort of thing. I'm not an I/O psychologist myself, but find the field interesting.
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"spent two and a half years documenting"
....aw, someone works for the government! In the off chance that you don't work for some fine governmental organization where half of its function is finding buyswork for those that the private sector deem unemployable, the problem lies with your managers. Heads should have rolled, transfers should have been suggested. Or, perhaps, your leadership is the problem, and you should be reassigned. Either way, there's a good amount of people in an unproductive, miserable situation that is wasting company, or more likely, taxpayer resources. Send in The Bobs!