Letters to the Editor
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I got my degree from Rutgers U. And you?
OH MY, i"M so EMBARASSED BECAUSE i'M NOT A GOOD AS YOU ARE.
WOW, YOU REALLY SHOWED ME UP, i"M NOTHING AND YOU'RE A RUTGERS GRAD.
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I got my degree from Rutgers U. And you?
I HAVE class.
regardless of your impressive graduating class, you have none
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I got my degree from Rutgers U. And you?
Well, I copy edit at a professional publication and we correct all British spelling to the correct usage in the US.
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Ungracious hosts and hostesses
Several in laws showed up in blue jeans and tee shirts.
Were they clean and pressed? Maybe that's all they have. What do they do for a living? Some people just don't own suits, especially if they can't afford them and/or have zero occasion to ever wear one. A friend of mine -- a professional making a decent salary -- just had to go out and buy two suits and have them fitted in 24 hours because his chosen vocation and social life has never required that he wear one.
They looked like fools. I was embarassed for them and I was so ticked I just ignored them, said not a word to them.
You are a disgrace. The purpose of etiquette isn't to make you look superior to everyone else with your grand manners, its to make everyone *else* feel comfortable in possibly awkward circumstances. You remind me of an ex-boyfriend, thank god we never got as far as discussion of the "m" word, that would have been a festival of snobbery.
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Bye from the catalan guy
Well, you can insult and scream and show that you are an angry, bad-mannered person, but nothing of this is a valid argument.
You can use "straw man" fallacy (saying that I said things that I have not said), use "red herring" fallacy (speaking of things irrelevant to the debate, like the orthography of "learnt", the quality of my PhD, the length of my penis). You can distort arguments and insult. But so far you haven't say nothing worthwhile and nothing who disproves my original statement that being a single mom is a career option for lazy women.
You try to dominate here using your intellect, tossing a large word in here and there to show your intelligence
Not at all, my level of English is not that good to impress you with my vocabulary. I wish I could. All the words I use are common words but, hey, I don't know how good is your education, "houseing" woman.
When you chime in via Anon (or your screen name) about women and single mothers, you sound ignorant. That's a fact, Jack! If you are interested in finding "lazy women" to bash, you are in the wrong place. The lazy people don't come to Salon, moron. If you bothered to notice the headers in Salon, you'd see that there is depth here... of political, social, and educational value.
I don't know whether lazy women are in Salon (I don't know personally all the people who are in Salon) but I do know that there is one a very angry, bitter and bad-mannered person. Of course, my English skills include insults but I don't want to be as vulgar and coarse as you.
"Moron", "pathetic", "That's a fact, Jack", "It is the size of it that has you upset?". You are right. There is depth here. You have so depth of political, social and educational value. I admire all your depth.
It's worthless discussing by you. I think you enjoy distorting arguments, insulting and being lousy. I won't spend one more second in this worthless conversation with a worthless person.
To all other readers: I apologize for this meaningless discussion. If you read my posts you will be able to see that I have not insulted anybody and I have tried to carry a meaningful debate with a person who has been insulting me. Anyway, I'm sorry and I quit.
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Having a degree
It's not about being better than someone or having class -- it's about correcting someone's grammar if you don't have the training, knowledge, or credentials to do so. Perhaps your publication uses a style sheet that excludes British spellings, but not all do so.
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Compromise
I agree with Cary's advice; however, as he didn't address the issue of your future SIL bringing her newborn to the wedding, I will. Welcome BIL and SIL with open, gracious arms; however, politely yet firmly request (insist?) that the child stays home. I think this is a perfectly reasonable compromise.
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trashy is as trashy does
That goes for several of the posters here, as well as the letter writer.
Mistreating the woman who's going to be your sister-in-law because you don't approve of her conduct is trashy. Just thought I'd mention.
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I got my degree from Rutgers U. And you?
maybe next time they can teach you some mannars.
Please tell me which professional journals published in the US use British spellings, because I"ve been to plenty of conventions and such and never seen any who do. Some use different stylebooks, but all I've ever seen use US stylebooks for US publications. Most use the NYT stylebook, which speficies that the US spelling is used for publication in a US periodical even if the original author used British spelling.
PS__being so condescending about your degree from Rutgers is A LOT ruder than the person (not I) who corrected the poster who used "learnt"
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Another perspective, maybe
The Chinese think of a wedding as a joining of two families. There is more to it than that, but I believe it helps to keep in mind that it is also that. Your husband has a brother, and it's your job to establish a good relationship with him, just as your husband has to establish a good relationship with those of your relatives who are important to you.
You want your party though, and that's understandable, too. Maybe this might work: Call her up and ask her for help and advice - tell her that you told the other guests that they can't bring children to the formal event, and you are worried that they'd feel second rate if her future sister-in-law is getting special treatment. Then maybe suggest that you organize a nanny who can take care of the baby for a few hours. Maybe it's possible to organize a room close to the place where your party is, so that she (or the brother) can check on the child occassionally.