Letters to the Editor
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Newsflash
Cary's right. Yes, you do have to be the bigger person at your wedding.
Your 20-year-old future sister-in-law did not plan her pregnancy to interfere with your wedding. And if she did (a very big "if") she's got way bigger problems than you do, so give her a pass.
If there are no kids allowed at the wedding, make that clear to her. Make it clear it applies to everyone, not just to her. But it sounds as if you don't want the brother and sister-in-law there, regardless of the kid, because you disapprove of their situation and of the 20-year-old especially.
Why does it matter to you how she lives her life? Are you really that concerned about her personal well-being, or your future brother-in-law's happiness? Or are you embarassed that your future husband's trashy family will reflect badly on you? I think you should really examine why you feel this way, because obviously there's a lot more going on than whether or not you want children at your wedding.