I quite often COMPLIMENT women or their behavior on here too, but you conveeeeniently ignore that.

Someone mentioned meetup.com, where local groups casually form around a common interest. I went to a book club meeting and was amazed how cool it was. It really is a fantastic way to meet people in a low-key, naturalistic environment. Nobody's desperately trying to impress a date, nobody's feeling some weird artificial pressure, and best of all, you can see the real person: what his thoughts are, how he responds to others, what type of sense of humor he has, etc. And he can see you, too, so if you find you like the way each other thinks and enjoy hanging with each other, the next step is easy enough to take.

That someone being "not clean" is someone who has had more than 1-3 sexual partners?

Because a lot of uptight people would see that as "unclean". Especially given the huge double standard that exists between the number of sexual partners a man has vs. how many a woman has and how that is viewed in our society.

Personally, I have no experience with EBigotry because they disallow same sex partnering through their website.

Sheese. The e-harmony thing sounds like one of those Seinfeld "opposite" things. If I were to do it I would fill it out as if I was 100% opposite of who I am, just for kicks. That would certainly make for interesting "conversation" with your "matches."

Methinks, perhaps, y'all have too much free time. If you take this concept (Internet dating) seriously, perhaps you might also like sniffing glue.

What do you actually expect from eHarmony and the rest of the American dating-industrial complex, which caters to pathologically self-absorbed people in their thirties and forties?

I respect you for trying to fight the good fight, but you won't get very far engaging those who persistantly seek to disrupt a thread to focus on their personal issues. My advice, if you have to say anything at all, is to simply say "it's not all about you" and move on.

My husband, who I met online, though not through e-harmony, have talked about this sort of thing many times. We've both had experiences with women who were very messy. Like me, one one of the first things he looked for when dating is cleanliness. Not only in regard to personal grooming, but the condition of person's home and car. I never saw anything troublesome among the men I dated, but he encountered a lot problems with women. Especially among single mothers and I have to agree with him.

First of all, my husband is a very sexual man who places a great deal of importance on being appealing to his partner. He loves giving a woman pleasure and enjoys the intimate scent of a woman, but often found women who never seemed to clean their nether regions, which was extremely off-putting.

But most noticeble was the number of messy homes and filthy cars he saw while dating, especially among single mothers. Having been a single mother with many single-mom friends, I feel qualified to comment on this. Despite having two kids, a job and attending graduate school, my own evironment was always neat, a condition which he said was extremely rare. I could never understand my friends whose homes were always messy and remained that way when a date would pick them up. The message this conveyed to the prospective partner was "I really don't care about my home or you."

Their cars are another story. These upper-middle-class women have nice vehicles, but they are always a disaster with floors encrusted with food, half finished drinks, things from work, coats, pet hair and kids toys, sports equipment and art supplies. Men tend to be more particular about their cars and the sight of these vehicles is scary to them. What conclusions would you draw about someone who drives around in a $40,000 - $50,000 garbage wagon? It raises the question "would she have any regard for my own personal property if she treats her own investments so shabbily?"

These same women, upon seeing the interior of my own car, would marvel at how I could keep it so clean. I would tell them that my kids and I always empty it of our belongings and trash every time we came home at the end of the day and get it cleaned regularly. One friend then responded that her life was "too crazy and that anyone she associated with would have to accept that she didn't have time for something as silly as a clean car." However, with this person I was often a designated driver because my car was the only one clean enough to allow more than two people to fit into it.

In closing, I had a lot of success dating as a single mom, so much so that I met a great man who I married. I do think that one of my assets was that I made a good first impression because I appeared to be what I am, a person who has control over their life, has self-respect and ultimately will have respect for others. That's what cleanlines says about us and that is why it is important!

Are your underpants clean? Check.

Is your house clean? Check.

Are your teeth clean? Check.

Are you drug-free and thus "clean"? Check.

Are you disease-free and thus "clean"? Check.

Do you eat some natural foods every day, not subsisting entirely on big macs, thus keeping your insides clean? Check.

Is your language clean? Check.

Well...that covers a lot of bases with just "Clean." I can see why many of those would be essential and important.

But what do I know. I was an eharmony reject. Still...I'm clean according to all these standards, so I don't know. Maybe 60% of the guys on Eharmony are bemoaning the lack of clean women while the owner chuckles on the sidelines, rejecting us pell mell.

When I heard the category for "must be clean" I immediately thought about someone who cleans up after themselves - aka, not a slob. I know a lot of people who are slobs, they leave their clothes around, they have leftovers sitting on their coffee table, etc. I couldn't live with someone who didn't have any concept of organization.

But obviously the writer immediately thought "oral sex" in relation to cleanliness, and Cary didn't address any other thing "clean" might mean. These 60% of men obviously don't want a woman who doesn't menstrate, that's just silly. I doubt most of them immediately thought about sex at all when answering this question - eHarmony isn't a pick-up site, it's to match partners for life.

Other readers think these men want someone to clean up after them. I have to say that's a bit extreme. These men probably just don't want to have to clean up after someone else. It's pretty sexist to say all men are slobs unless a woman cleans up after them.