I agree there are some dirty Gerties out there (and stinky Winkies too). But does anyone who is in that disgusting state that all of us right-thinking clean people know to be dirty actually REALIZE that they themselves are dirty? The woman who dated the guy with dirty socks and feet who wanted a foot massage -- did he know he was gross? They guy with breath you had to lean away from - did he know? I bet not. I read somewhere that every single person considers him or herself to have a good sense of humor. I suspect everyone, or nearly everyone, considers themselves clean too. Those who haven't washed in a week just believe that they are naturally clean and don't need to engage in all of these artificial rituals that other people needlessly obsess over.

No one seems to be addressing the fact that the LW's adverse reaction is quite visceral.

You're not having an intellectual response. You're having an emotional one. I have it, too.

You are emotionally distanced, and borderline disgusted, by someone with such odd, provincial, fundamentally uncreative preferences.

The LW doesn't want a tidy, little man with his tidy, little uncommunicative word. It's like asking for someone "nice." It's gross and it's a bore.

That being said, "clean" is online personals code for either "shaved" and, more likely, "no STDs." I swear on my fresh, fresh linens.

Ask any man and he'll tell you that depending on the time of the month, a woman's vagina can be the most wonderful thing on earth and the most disgusting. I believe it has something to do with castration anxiety, but I digress.

I've had girlfriends whose natural scent smelled great and others who smelled awful. It's usually the ones with vaginosis who didn't enjoy receiving oral sex because they didn't like kissing me afterwards. One woman wiped incorrectly and I got a face full of what tasted like fecal matter.

I'm sorry, but disliking stinky nether regions does not make me gay or misogynist, or a jerk for that matter.

What a waste.

Sweaty women yeah!

who enjoys a bit of funk? I once had a boyfriend who worked in a roach coach frying food all day in the heat, and I loved greeting him when he came home. Where is the eharmony for people like me?

Brightstar wrote: ""go to therapy" is always the answer whenever a guy criticizes a woman."

Brightstar, you know this isn't true. The reason people tell YOU to seek therapy is because all you do in the letters section is criticize women, or more pointedly, American women. I've never seen a post from you that wasn't about your victimhood to American women. And you can't stop with just one, there are usually many, many posts from you going on and on about it. This thread is a good example. Therapy might help.

And apparently no gays, no deviants, no people that are separated, etc. Isn't this the same website that rejects so many people for not being the right kind of "compatible?"

Answer is simple on this one...LW needs to go try Match.com or something a little broader in scope...

Maybe you are fastidious to the point of OCD, but you would not go down on a woman unless she showered first? I mean, that kind of kills the passion, doesn't it? All the preparation -- her showering, you doing your dental thing? Strange. I think after that whole production, I (a woman, btw) would sigh, give up on the sex, and take a nap or read a book instead.

Honestly, if a woman showers regularly it should be enough. Same goes for men, who don't always smell or taste utterly wonderful either. I am somewhat convinced that those who think otherwise have something of an aversion to sex, in that they don't actually appreciate the human body (unless it's been completely decontaminated and antibacterialized, of course!).

In any case, to the LW -- My first inclination is that they are not-so-subtley using this in reference to STDs or drugs. However, I'm in my twenties, and their intent may depend on their age, too. Some of them might actually mean oral sex. Others might (most boringly!) mean tidiness. I agree with several others, though -- you might want to try a different site. I think what really bothers you is that this is an option!

That being said, "clean" is online personals code for either "shaved" and, more likely, "no STDs." I swear on my fresh, fresh linens.

only women have such perverse minds.

when a man reads 'clean', there is no subtext. Sure, there might be an occasional guy who encodes the word with his own meaning, like he is some spy. But 99% of the time it is women always wanting to encode everything they say, write, and do.

MAN: 'clean' means 'clean'

WOMAN: 'clean' means everything but what the man said.

why do women constantly have to complicate things so much?

A certain % probably mean they can't stand untidiness: some ahve a freakish inability to abide dust bunnies.

Some probably don't really have that many restrictions, so "clean" seems like a rather inoffensive choice.

Brightstar, you know this isn't true. The reason people tell YOU to seek therapy is because all you do in the letters section is criticize women, or more pointedly, American women. I've never seen a post from you that wasn't about your victimhood to American women. And you can't stop with just one, there are usually many, many posts from you going on and on about it. This thread is a good example. Therapy might help.

I criticize women in a section about WOMEN. Help me out here. Wow, can't follow your 'logic'. and YES, I do have it in for American woman, I am quite proud of it. I live in America and I do not like the attitude women exhibit here based on some notion that the guy must PAY in some way just because he OWES women things-- be it deference, money, attention, respect, or any other typical femilament. and I am not a victim to American women unless I succumb to their BS, which is happening less and less as I WISEN up.

About guys, among other things I crit guys for being gutless sheep who will say anything, no matter how dishonest, to get in a woman's pants.

Posting repeatedly is as a response to ongoing discussion. Sure, I may be passionate about this topic, But if I post more than usual, it is on one board out of dozens at any given time on Salon.