Seems the most obvious thing.

But it's such a vague question that can refer to almost anything. I mean, would the average woman want to date a man who didn't care about cleanliness? The presumption would be that a man who doesn't care about cleanliness isn't clean.

It's actually a stupid question. Someone should contact eHarmony and have them change it.

Whatever the dating service, you really can't make too many judgements on a candidate until you actually converse and meet them.

If I were the woman who obsessed about what "clean" meant for the hell of it I'd ask the men what they each meant, if only for curiosity. I would imagine that her fears have little to do with what the men were thinking when they answered the question.

Aurorasbored, are you trying to say that when the guy found out you were on your period, he wanted a b.j. that particular night for just him and nothing for you? was he insistent or would have been OK with "that's Ok maybe another night?"

Is this a new relationship or would it have been OK with you both to have just "That's OK honey let's wait till another night" (for you both.)

If this was an ongoing relationship, why would "That's OK honey, let's wait till another night" (for you both) not been OK.

Was this the first time or one of the first times you were going to have sex? What I mean by that is, you didn't yet know if there would be enough "other nights" where the postponing the physical pleasure for you both was not that big a deal?

The reason I ask....before I got in good relationships, I was in several bad ones where the guy was pretty coercive on his pleasure right then and there at one particular time, even if something happened to mess up the mood, and not "That's OK let's wait till another night." I was young and naive at that point to realize how bad a sign this was. Just on the chance that you are like I used to be, I am saying this because the guy you were with should have been OK with "let's pop some popcorn and watch a movie, have sex another night" not put one particular night's pleasure above the relationship unless his pleasure is the only reason he was with you that night. If that's the nature of the relationship and that's OK with you, then fine, but if you are like I used to be, there are guys out there who are fine with "that's OK honey let's just cuddle" (not for too long to where they NEVER get sex, I'm just saying for one particular night where things fizzled.) I guess I am trying to say if he had a selfish hissy fit because things fizzled one particular night, run don't walk away from that situation, sounds like you already did. I don't fault the guy for not wanting to have sex that particular night ( maybe you do) but for being insistent on being serviced with no pleasure for you on the very night you were emotionally hurt. He should have cuddled till you felt accepted and valued, then had sex another night. I know this may sound preachy but I used to not know any better and I stayed with a "What about MY needs!" hissy fit pitcher and submitted to his hissy fit pitching just to assuage his anger, and I did myself more emotional damage than if I had known there were cuddlers out there. Well, there are. There are guys who put more emphasis on the relationship and will cuddle and have sex another night. Many of them are Lovable Lugs who may in fact need to be reminded to jump in the shower, I'm just sayin' .

P.S. I was also with a (different) guy who was meticulously clean. Whoever said 2 minutes of missionary sex with the lights out and no noise, Bingo. Also, I think he may have been in the closet. not sure.

Purity of Essence (they like Dr. Strangelove), as in when the aliens come and capture us all and squeeze us for our oils, they need to know that we are not contaminated.

Us men have already been accosted and programmed to answer the eHarmony question this way so we can become more efficient at selecting our wimmin for this trait the aliens need to maintain their intergalactic tractor fleet.

This is a warning.

while I am enjoying the rorshach test on "clean", I wish eHarmony would just go away and take its damn cheezy 70s song that was overused in movie trailers before they killed it. and that old dude is creepy. ugh.

"Clean" often refers to anal hygiene. They want the buttsex, but they want it clean.

A letter from Amerigo bitches (painful pun intended) about women who don't clean the dishes and the house? Why doesn't he do his own damn dishes...

And it gets a star?

Good god.

That the REAL subtext of this woman's comment is that a woman typically will take umbrage at something that offends her but that is specific to her, in this case, physical 'cleanliness'.

The next step is to use 'coded' messages to break apart the original meaning to lend it some heft, puff it up a bit.

VOILA: Present it to female friends and foes alike as if there is some deep meaning behind it-- DEMONIZE THE WHOLE THING as it were. Man bad, woman good.

The result is that men say to themselves "Gee, maybe she has a point. Maybe I really meant something deeper than just physical cleanliness. Maybe she knows me better than I know myself. Gee, she must have intuition and be more brilliant than I suspected. My bad, I will reconsider this position"

JOB DONE. Woman got her way. Made men question themselves.

Of course, the reality is that to men there IS NO SUBTEXT. Guys click on it because they do not want a hog.

Repeat this 100 million times among all women about 100 myriad issues and see where it gets you.