Letters to the Editor
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My bossy advice:
Dental treatments of all kinds are much, much easier than they were in the old days. My 83-year-old mom recently went through a whole dental implant procedure (after enduring a lifetime of tooth infections that traveled around her body) and is for the first time in her life pain and infection free.
If you're smart about who you go to, you can feel a lot better about the whole thing. Don't go to one of these neighborhood storefront guys. Go to a good Jewish dentist (sorry, but that's the fack, jack) in an affluent suburb or in a thriving downtown metropolis, where you will get the best technology and experience. (For instance, I go to a periodontal guy for cleaning who sets me up with earphones and music of my choice, and it's so relaxing I nearly fall asleep.)
(And one more bit of bossiness: I sure hope you aren't having oral sex with that unhygienic mouth of his. You could be in for pelvic infammatory disease, if you are.)
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How Do You Get Them To Do Nitrous?
I have a dentist appointment tomorrow and I'm sitting here with the Ativan, waiting for 11:00 p.m. so I can take the tablets and go to sleep. Then 2mg more tomorrow before the appointment.
I'd love to have nitrous oxide, everyone always says it's great. However, my dentist is strongly resistant to using it, because he'd have to have a second assistant in the room just to monitor it. So he gives me anti-anxiety pills for the visit instead. The appointment won't be that bad, because he's pretty free with the novocaine. Still, I'd like to have nitrous without having to switch dentists. Could there be any hidden issues behind the resistance? Why would a dentist hate nitrous oxide so much?
As for the letter writer, she should give her boyfriend an ultimatum. If he acts this way about his teeth he'll do the same about his heart, lungs, etc. and she'll be an early widow (with his family blaming her for not "saving" him).
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yet another
fake letter
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Tooth problems
can indeed lead to much more serious, even fatal situations. but as long as you're going to harp on him, you'd better start harping on the smoking too. cancer isn't the only downside to smoking, not to mention the effects it can have on you, as well.
good luck.
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I hate to say so,
but for ONCE, I agree... this HAS to be fake. Please.
On the off chance you're for real. Please, sister, dump the troll.
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repulsive, gross, disgusting--he sounds like a pirate!
Yarr. Make 'im walk the plank.
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So wait ...
Let me see if I've got this right. You're dating a man who doesn't brush his teeth, who has no front teeth ....
I just wanted to be sure.
Okey, dokey, look, it's one thing to be afraid of the dentist. Yes, that's tough. But, it is quite another to be fearful of good hygiene.
Either he starts brushing his teeth regularly or really, yuck, he does have to go. Plus, as Cary states, it is really very, very unhealthy for him, as well as disgusting for you. So, he cleans or you leave. ew. Would you date a man who never bathed? I hope the answer is no.
As for the missing teeth, well, he's just going to have to be brave and go to the dentist. Anyway, think of all the cavities and messed up gums just waiting to be fixed. But, if it's really been that long, yikes, he'll need insurance first. Lots and lots of insurance.
It's one of these choices or you pull out your own front teeth and stop brushing in solidarity. Which, you know, is an option.
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your love life is not an equal opportunity
1) If it grosses you out, and he won't get it fixed, he gets the boot.
2) re: the nitrous thing: a lot of dentists won't do it because it requires extra certifications (which cost money and time), requires another assistant to monitor the gas (also more money and hassle), and scares a lot of them in a lot of ways, because if they fuck it up, you're a vegetable, and they'd rather not deal with that. They got into to dentistry so that their patients would be alive and smiling after each visit.
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Apparently, Salon has jumped the shark.
This is not Wifebeater Weekly. No one who is a regular Salon reader would date someone who is missing their front teeth unless they are insane. And, if this woman is insane, why give her the time of day? I don't care if this letter is genuine or not. It doesn't belong here! Unless generating a communal reaction of primal disgust is your goal. And that would make Cary is no better than Fox News, which may in fact, be the goal. Cary, are your bosses trying to get you to generate more traffic by stooping to the lowest common denominator? Cause, that is exactly what this resonates as. That "I'm Bisexual but I'm not sure if I should tell my new boyfriend," letter was utterly gratuitous nonsense, but this, this is just beyond the pale.
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she asked for it
If she didn't realize the first time he smiled that his teeth were a turnoff, and if she wasn't grossed out by his breath on the first kiss, she has no right to complain. By her entering into the relationship and accepting him "as is", it's unfair for her to now turn around and demand that he change.
The advice would be the same to a woman who was dating a fat man (who was fat when they met), if she suddenly decided she wanted a fit boyfriend. Duh.
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Yikes
That is gross. I hope you don't mind my saying that; you seem to think the same thing. About half way through the letter, I thought of people that value certain things and then choose differently at some point in order to experience the other side--people that like culture and book knowledge in a person and then find themselves drawn to a carpenter with common sense, for instance. So even if the no-front-teeth thing is a little different, I could understand it.
However, this guy is now blatantly letting his mouth rot. It's an absolute deal breaker. You can't get around this. To hell with his health, although that's certainly going down the tubes. What's going on here is that he's breaking one of the major rules about being a human--a homo sapiens. What am I saying--there are probably even animal practices for maintaining healthy teeth. This guy is breaking the rules of living earthly creatures. He's turning into something that, instead of preserving vitality, is letting it putrify. There is something deep-seated going on here, and it's too big for you to fix. If your girlfriend were telling you this story, what would your reaction be? He's a mess. Good luck.