Letters to the Editor
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Quit Reading Salon and Get a Subscription to Guns and Ammo
And find a weapon that meets your needs and taste.
Also get a lawyer.
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This should be much more straightforward than we're making it.
Just repeat after me:
"Look, this is my apartment every bit as much as it is yours. I'm on the lease, which means you don't get to vote me off the island. I've already told you I'm happy with the living arrangements. You have already told me the reason you're unhappy is nothing that I'm responsible for. Therefore it is clearly your responsibility to go find a situation more to your liking. If moving isn't in the cards for you, then you had better work on your attitude. End of discussion."
There. Was that so hard?
Oh, and by the way, Letter Writer, you've been entirely too accommodating already, which is probably where they both got the idea that they can walk all over you. Next time one of them gets the flu, THEY, not you, get the couch. If you stop bending over backwards to please them, maybe they might get up enough initiative to find their own little love nest all on their own.
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No, Don't Drive Them Out
I'm pretty sure that the advice about being obnoxious to drive them out of your apartment was meant to be a joke, but just in case... NO, DON"T DO THAT. If you have any desire to retain possession of this apartment, do not give anybody any ammunition to get you evicted for cause.
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Let the landlord be King Solomon
No, I'm not suggesting the baby be cut in two. ;) But explain the situation to the landlord and let him decide who stays.
It's a given that if the landlord doesn't know about the roomie and/or his girlfriend and the baby, he is going to be pretty mad, because evicting people can be a tricky, expensive and protracted mess. But he has to find out sometime, and you'd have to tell him anyway in order to get your name off the lease if you opted to move.
If the landlord is a jerk or a stickler, get legitimate legal advice prior to talking to him in order to protect yourself from being held liable for letting these people move in.
Of course, if the landlord knows all about the roomie and the girlfriend, your task is much simpler: Just ask him to handle it however he wishes, and then move on with your life, either in your old place or a new one. And don't waste another drop of energy or thought on these people.
Good luck!
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Hoo, boy...
"You can't kick a pregnant woman to the curb.<
But it's perfectly honkin' okay if single guy takes the bullet, right? For cryin' out loud--just because a woman is pregnant, does that automatically make her a new saint-on-earth? Why do you insist she gets a pass for her rotten behavior? And why do you seem to discount that the LW has rights too--the right to not be pressured out of his place by creeps who are using the "we gotta be a famblee" thing as an excuse to steal his property? God, I tell ya--some of you married folks with kids need to get a frickin' clue. You aren't the only ones on the planet, and you don't have the right to stomp all over everyone else in the name of your "sacred" bond or family unit.
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Accidentally sit on the baby once or twice . . .
Don't break the damn thing, but an, "Oops, I didn't realize it was there" now and then will probably do the trick.
Either that, or start stealing the breast-milk.
But DO NOT MOVE OUT.
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Waiiiiiiit a second
They want you to move out, and will ostensibly start assuming your half of the rent each month...but they can't swing helping you out with moving expenses because "Things are tight"?
AND they have a kid now?
These people sound like they have poor financial planning skills, and will be BEGGING you to stay once they realize what their diaper bill is going to be each month.
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Talk to the Landlord
If yours is the only name on the Lease, let the landlord know that you are not interested in renewing for the next year, and that once the Lease is up you will be leaving. That way the landlord can start looking for a new tenant. Let him know that your friend and his girlfriend have been staying at your place, and that they have expressed an interest in having the place to themselves. Then they can apply for the apartment and submit to the credit check, etc. If they are not on the Lease, then they have no greater claim to staying in the apartment then someone else who is interested in renting it.
If your friend's name is also on the Lease, then let him know that you will be telling the Landlord that you will be leaving at the end of the current Lease term and will have the Landlord contact your friend in order to have the Lease put solely in his name (and that of the girlfriend, if that is what your friend wants).
Whatever situation you find yourself in, do not leave the apartment without making certain that your name is no longer on the Lease. Otherwise, as others have written, you would be liable for unpaid rent and other costs should your friend and his girlfriend not pay the rent.
Also, make certain that all your communications with the Landlord are in writing, and that any conversations with the Landlord are also committed to paper. Also copy your friend on any letters to the Landlord.
Finally, if the utilities are also in your name, make certain that they are turned off when you leave, or transferred into the name of your friend and/or his girlfriend.
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move out but end friendship
Let them have this one. Move out for the sake of the baby, but end the friendship with these selfish people.
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Drive them OUT! no joke, seriously
Psychopaths like the game to be played in their favor. When the game is turned against them they cannot deal with it. Moochers want to mooch, they know exactly what they are doing and are quite skilled at the con game, they will not tolerate being mooched by others, especially their mark.
These people intend to take the apartment and leave the previous tenant with the bill because why should they pay when someone else can be stuck with the bill.
Oh yeah, one other thing the LW can do, pee on their bed and clothes. When asked about it, then the LW can have some fun.
Whose territory is it to mark? Ooops! Wild party last night! How 'bout that? yep, that's pee alright, the bathroom is down the hall.
Civilized behavior is preferable, but nothing works like acting like a domesticated ape that is pissed.
The only thing that stops psychopathic behavior is louder and more intense psychopathic behavior.
Don't feel bad, they are not humans, they have no empathy, regard or concern for the LW. They might as well be republicans.