Letters to the Editor
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Roomies don't know a good thing....
One thing that's funny.
The idiot roommates causing this whole thing don't realize that in throwing out the easy going, way too accomodating guy (or girl), they've screwed themselves.
The LW would have helped with the baby in many ways. I can just see him running out to get formula or diapers in the middle of the night. Taking care of this or that chore, because the new parents are "tired" and just need a break.
Hell, they may even miss the 1/3 to 1/2 of the rent he contributed. Losing that portion of the rent sure cuts down on them being able to afford a decent babysitter or real necessities.
Even if the LW leaves, there may be some real karma in this.
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Virgin?
Okay, the most obvious point to make is to see a goddamn lawyer, fer chrissake!
That said - and I kind of cringe to say it - something about the LW strikes me as terribly familiar. I may be mistaken, but I think I recognize this level of doormatishness, because I used to be one myself.
The clue: what does the LW's girlfriend/boyfriend have to say about all this? Apparently nothing, because they almost certainly don't exist. Why? Because if they did, they'd damned well have gotten pissed off and spoken up months ago.
It's not my intention to humiliate the LW. As I said, I was a doormat virgin myself for longer than I care to tell. That's how I recognize the symptoms: an almost pathetic willingness to do anything that anyone asks, no matter how unreasonable - and particularly if the requester is female and attractive.
So my advice is to get a lawyer, for the excellent reasons which have been repeated 1,000 times in previous comments. And then, please, get a good therapist (assuming that the LW doesn't already have one). Frankly, a full behavioral evaluation would not be the worst idea either - you might be surprised at what could turn up.
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If the lease is in your name...
Terminate it, and get your deposit money back. Let them fend for themselves with a new lease. Or better yet, have the lease transfered and get Baby Daddy refund YOU the deposit as a term of the lease. In short, these very selfish people are expecting you to move, and incur the costs of moving plus a deposit on a new place.
The benefit of moving out would be to get your own place. Roommies can be a nightmare. Living single is much easier. How very sad that your friendship has been tarnished by this behavior. It will be interesting to see how long the relationship lasts with a new baby, and who will be in need of a hand-out or home in the near future.
Remember, they are not your problem when they need more help. You have enough problems of your own.
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Any good liberal
would happily go homeless to accommodate anyone else.
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Inquiring minds want to know:
With baby coming, it's definitely time for SOMEONE to get out, but the question is who:
Whose name is on the lease? If it's yours, without theirs, I can't see where there's any question who belongs there.
If they go, could you afford the place on your own? (You brought them in at a time when you couldn't.) If you can afford it on your own anyway, stop throwing away money on rent and buy yourself a place already.
How much do you adore this place? Is it a one-in-a-million great place it would break your heart to leave?
Roommates SUCK. Getting out could be the best thing that ever happened to you.
That is all.
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Fight it out
Fighting something on principal -- that is, to fight for something simply because I'm right, even if the outcome is uncertain and I may cause myself a lot of heartache in the process -- has never served me particularly well.
Normally, I take a more strategic tact -- can I win by fighting? will fighting improve my situation? will fighting overwhelm me with stress? -- and I try to set aside the fact that I consider myself in the right.
But in this case, I really want to see LW fight it, whether it costs him friendships, stress and his apartment or not.
Sure, that's easy for me to say. I don't have to deal with all the grief only to have some housing court judge tell me I was wrong all along.
But if the facts of this letter are correctly relayed, then truth, justice and the American way depend on LW staying put, regardless of the hassle. Sorry buddy.
I think, though, if he puts his foot down, LW will get to keep his apartment. If his friends want to get off on the right foot with their baby, slugging out with their current roommate -- who was willing to live with the freakin' new-born brat -- is not going to be in their best interest either. I bet they move out once LW makes it clear they are in for fight.
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Liberals vs. conservatives
"Any good liberal would happily go homeless to accommodate anyone else" only in a world where any good conservative would happily sell out a friend or his own mother rather than make a single accommodation for anyone but himself. All the while touting his "Christian values."
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Much depends on Roomie's status on the lease.
If Roommate and Pregnant Girlfriend are not on the primary rental agreement, their long-term presence on the premises may constitute breach of your rental agreement. Your landlord may look at your lease, decide you are in breach for letting them live there, and demand that they go. Worse, if you are in a locale where you can be deemed a sublessor, and thus the de-facto landlord to Roommate and Pregnant Girlfriend, it is possible that you would be the one shouldering the entire legal, procedural and financial burden of accomplishing the eviction.
An awful lot hinges on Roommate's status with respect to the primary landlord. If he's on the primary rental agreement, it's between him and the landlord. If he's not, it's between him and you, but the primary landlord still has a lot to say on the subject, and you may be caught in the middle. You could find yourself paying not only your half of the rent (since you are still on the lease) even if you move out, but also Roommate's half rent if he defaults, and even paying the costs of evicting him.
This is why everyone is telling you: Be very careful. Talk to a competent local lawyer.