Letters to the Editor
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Is the lease in your name?
If so then the family have no claim to the place. You don't have to move. They can't force you to move. It boils down to whether or not you want to keep them as friends or not, but if it were me I would be so completely offended by their behavior after my generosity that whether I left or they left, the relationship is scarred.
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Evicted by friends
You are a pathetic puzzy (no offense), and the fact that you actually are conflicted about what to do suggests that maybe you should just run away with your tail between your legs. While you're at it, you should probably set up an account for the kid's college expenses, baby proof the apartment, accompany the woman to lamaze classes, and then clean up the afterbirth.
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If Your Name Stays on the Lease, You May Remain Liable
If these friends are living so close to the edge financially already, and they are going to double their rent (with you no longer there) and add the costs of childcare and other babyraising costs to their meager budget, they may find themselves unable to pay the rent. If your name is the name on the lease, in many cities/states YOU are the one liable to pay the rent, not them.
So, if you agree to move out, only do so if they and the landlord agree to change the lease from your responsibility to theirs.
NB: Sorry if I am repeating an old post, but I didn't read older posts and someone may already have said this.
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I don't get it
Everyone seems to think that Dad2B and Mom2B are moochers and doing this deliberately. I bet they're just clueless. The baby is a month away (but in reality could come any day) and they are just now thinking about life with baby? Have they bought a crib, changing table, clothes? Have they thought about the fact that the baby will need a mom at home or expensive daycare? It's just now occurring to them that their apartment situation is inadequate.
They're in a panic. They probably mean well, but Mom2B probably can't imagine moving now. And her doctor has almost certainly told her not to lift anything heavy. And let's face it, Mom2B and Dad2B's sofa surfing options are limited.
A due date is really a guess and the baby will be considered full term if it comes 2 weeks early. Once the baby arrives, Mom2B certainly and Dad2B probably will not have the energy to think about apartment hunting. I don't think LW is going to get them out without a court order and bailiff.
LW didn't think about the reality of having a baby around either. That's how he got into this mess. No forethought. Lucky for him, he has no responsibility for this baby. He gets away with the lesson: babies are lots of work.
He's getting screwed, sure. But at least, the lesson he's learning is painless compared to Dad2B who, my guess is, failed to think about contraception one night with Mom2B, because this is not a planned pregnancy.
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It's "their" apartment; I don't mean Roomie and GF, but rather LW and Roomie.
True, the roomie and girlfriend shouldn't think of it as "their" apartment. LW and Roomie should be thinking of it as "their" apartment. Roomie presumably has as much (or as little) right to think of it as "his" apartment as LW does. How long did LW live there before Roomie moved in? The letter is silent. Maybe it was ten years; maybe it was a month or two. Knowing this fact would make a big difference on how I view the situation.
I concede, for sake of argument, that GF is just a guest. Now, considering just LW and Roomie alone, this is just a case of two people who no longer want to be roommates. Assuming that LW still can't afford the apartment alone, it's a good bet that Roomie can't either. So, whichever of the two moved out, the other would have to find a roommate. Well, Roomie already has one lined up!
While I was reading the original letter, I was angry on behalf of LW. I imagined myself in his position. I wanted to shout "How could they do this to you?!" My first reaction to Cary's response was angry, indignant like many others. Yes, I wanted to punish Roomie & GF for being such bad people.
It's not fair to LW. The situation isn't fair to anyone. The biggest problem is that all three people should have seen this coming months ago. This should have been negotiated and solved the minute GF agreed to move in. That was the time to make a stand. "She can stay here, but when the baby comes, you're going to want a place to yourselves, and I don't intend on moving." Yes, it was primarily Roomie's responsibility to bring it up, but when he didn't, LW can't be held blameless for not noticing the rocky waters ahead.
To LW: The friendship is damaged, perhaps irrecoverably, perhaps not. But to stay in a bad situation or to fight over the apartment is surely going to put the final nail in that coffin. It will even cost other friendships (I assume you and Roomie have mutual friends). Vindictiveness is not the answer.
So, get ready to move out. That's the easiest thing to do, but I don't agree that it's a cowardly thing to do. Take your time as you need it, without dawdling. Make sure your interests are taken care of. Take a note of everything you own. In addition to the points I made earlier, you might consider selling them some of your (share of) furniture. But make absolutely sure that while they are crowding you out of your apartment, they are also cashing you out.
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legal stuff
The person who said, "Is it worth the time and money to sue them and try to stay" is a smart cookie. Maybe you are "right" and you can keep the apartment you can't afford-- but is that really what you want?
I am in the apartment business, and you should consider this:
a) Assuming you have a somewhat standard lease: there's normally a clause that says that no one can stay for an extended period of time in the apartment unless they are on the lease. The timeframe which is normally defined as staying for more than x amount of hours; 72-120 is standard-- you won't get evicted for breaking this because landlord tenant law says that they must notify you on a first infraction for this type of violation, and they must give you x days to "fix" the trouble and get the person out. Here's why I bring it up: Unless both the future mother AND father are on the lease, they cannot be living there. LW: are they BOTH on the lease? If not, you can probably strong arm them (or one of them) out-- but then, is that really what you want?
b) Subleasing does not make the sublettor the landlord and does not make them subject to following fair housing law which people keep referring to. The landlord cannot treat a "couple with a child" or a "family" different than a single person (this is true), but it doesn't sound like this is at play in this scenario at all. This isn't a matter of fair housing law.
c) Subleasing does not mean that you add someone to the lease and you are thereby no longer responsible for rent or damages. In most states and with most sublease agreements, the agreement (as termed by the landlord) is written to benefit the landlord most of all, by adding BOTH people to the liability chain. What people are thinking of is a term called "assignment" which does not apply in the situation where the tenant stays. Subleasing is a means of adding a person to a lease in a manner which does not increase the occupancy of the apartment. Subleasing does not release the original tenant from the liability chain at all. Hence, if the lease is not ending and the couple want to "sublease" from the LW, the LW will still be liable if the new tenants default or do damage. LW-- ask your landlord if they will do an "assignment". An assignment will release you of liability.
d) Is the lease over? From the sounds of it, the LW is on a lease, and the LW is liable for the lease until the lease ends (perhaps in a joint and several liability lease with the couple, or half the couple). LW-- take care on this matter. You do not want to be on a lease at a place in which you are not living-- this opens you up to a significant level of financial risk. Also, in many states, it is difficult to sign a SECOND lease if you are still under obligation for a FIRST.
Talk to your landlord. Even if they are a big landlord (in which case they put their own self-interest first), the landlord is likely to give you the best idea of what your options are for the apartment. Read your lease before you go. Look at a few things:
1) who is on the lease
2) when the lease ends
3) sections covering occupancy, subleasing and assignment
4) sections covering terminations