Letters to the Editor
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mattielesbon
This country has an out of wedlock birthrate of 37%. Not all single mothers are divorced parents.
You don't seem to know anything about Clara Harris, who got joint custody of her kids from prison after killing her husband. Or Socorro Caro, who didn't kill all four of her children only because she ran out of bullets.
It's not apparent to me you have any clear knowledge about the true nature of domestic violence.
Men and children are people, too, and we are all connected. When you ignore the children and men who are abused by women, you ignore the women and girls who are damaged by that abuse doubly so, because you refuse to acknowledge the damage done to them indirectly by the women who inflict it on their children and adult male relatives.
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Parson
I'm not ignoring anything. I'm simply trying to balance the books here, after you run off half "cocked" about how the entire system is rigged against men.
I don't see women as the "only" victims, but your letters make it seem like you think men are. Women are victims of the system too.
Men and women both suffer when it comes to love, and marriage, and the legal system. No one has a premium, or an exclusive, on suffering at the hands of a cold system set up to deal with the hottest of issues.
You can cite 10,000 instances of men (or children) getting screwed as a result of some legal decision in favor of a woman. That won't change my opinion that your views are skewed to one side. I could easily say that you are ignoring all of the women who've been killed by their husbands, ex-husbands, and lovers. I could cite the really infamous cases, like the slimeball who set his own son on fire to punish his ex-wife during their custody battle.
http://cbs5.com/localwire/localfsnews/bcn/2007/04/04/n/HeadlineNews/CHARLES-SENTENCING/resources_bcn_html
It serves no purpose to cite the most egregious cases, indeed engage further in some war of tragic hyperbole. Please stop accusing me of being ignorant either of the law or of the type of heinous stuff that goes down between men and women - I am neither ignorant of it nor do I disagree that some really terrible shit goes down, and as I've said, the system needs to change from the warped Donna Reed/June Cleaver view they have of women as helpless Stepfords in need of coddling.
But let me reiterate for the third or fourth time, (A) women get their fair share of shit from the "system", too, and cut it with the out of wedlock shit because someone stuck a dick into that situation and should take responsibility for it, "wedlock" or not, and
(B) People should make their marriages work because they want to, because they love one another, not because they fear some sort of retribution from the evil "system".
I knew a man once who worked for child welfare here in Los Angeles. A couple was convicted of murdering one of their children and burying him in the desert. They went to jail. When they came out, they sued for custody of their remaining two children. They WON. A man, and a woman, equally disgusting examples of 'human' beings. The victims of the system were the children. My friend quit his job then and there. The system SUCKS.
But no one is immune. Not even those of us with vaginas.
Sorry, didn't mean to scare you . . .
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abuse
most of the people i know who have been abused as children were abused by women. sure, that's anecdotal, but that's my experience. female abuse is not talked about, because women generally don't kill the person they are abusing; men more frequently do. but women can be hideously emotionally abusive and beat the hell out of anyone small.
i wish you could come to my city and see the abuse the women dish out on young children, who then go on to become criminals and child parents of their own.
yes, of course these women were abused as children, probably by both men and women; that's how they got that way.
but to keep insisting that women have the corner on victimhood and men don't share it is ridiculous. mattie, in YOUR experience, women are victimized more frequently. there are many, many other experiences out there. it is a deep, dark secret out there about how many people grew up with abusive mothers. i know of both grown men and women in therapy, and each has a ruined life due to mommy the abuser; mommy with the belt...
i'm not saying men aren't abusers or sexual abusers; they are. but women abuse men and children with stunning frequency. men just don't talk about it. they feel castrated and humiliated.
women who dish it out to the kids usually dish it out to the men as well....hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...i didn't make that up.
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Addressing some issues..
If they sued for custody and won it must have been because they were not found guilty of the murder. I don't see how two parents convicted of murdering one child could get custody of remaining children otherwise.
This whole thread has gotten way off topic. A man was asking for advice about a stupid problem. Who the hell really cares if he cheats or not? Honestly EVERYBODY has cheated at one point or another in their life. You may not physically cheat but according to a lot of assholes who populate this place you can "cheat" by simply thinking about fucking somebody other than your spouse. A lot of people need to stop throwing stones and be honest with themselves. Fuck I know this is only a message board but it just seems like some go out of their way to lynch people who are honest with different points of view.
In my case I was phone phucking with someone who was as into it as I was and didn't take it quite so seriously(like a lot of you)where is the harm? The prediction of my marriage being ruined because of past phone sex with an old friend is ridiculous and completely loony! My wife may have been unhappy about it but since I never put my dick where it didn't belong and I never even met this person or even saw a picture in the YEARS that I spent jerking off to her voice I think my wife and I will be just fine. I'm sure people have gotten divorced for a lot less but I believe that my marriage has since gotten stronger and better. Nobody is perfect but at least I had the balls to be honest and have done my best to make up for it.
Moving on! Before a bunch of you lynching pussies decide to respond with your two cents of nothing remember that life isn't easy for anybody and nobody can say what they would do in a situation if they HAVEN'T BEEN THERE! So unless you have never in your life had a sexual thought about anybody besides your spouse I don't think that you should judge others. If you try and respond with crap like "I love my husband/wife so much I never think about anybody else." BULLSHIT! Are you dead? Just being human makes you a liar because like it or not we are ALL SEXUAL creatures. We are going to have thoughts of others that will be sexual regardless of how much we "love" our significant others. Sometimes ONE has nothing to do with the other!