Letters to the Editor
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Wow, Parson, were you frightened by a feminist at some point?
Sheesh. Yeah, sometimes when you fuck around on your spouse, you end up divorced, and usually the mom gets the kids barring serious parenting flaws.
And if you scare the shit out of her with your ranting, yeah, she may call the police. My ex screamed in my face that I was Evil! EVIL!!! because I wouldn't let him live in the guest room - I was paying the mortgage, he contributed nothing, and he was fucking/in love with another woman (if you can call 19 years old a "woman"), and he used my SON to gain entrance into the house and then berate me for not allowing him to live there.
I locked the bedroom door on him and called a friend, scared out of my wits as he pounded on the locked door and screamed. I should have called the police. Apparently your ex-wife did.
Perhaps it's not that she's a feminist prig, Parson. Maybe she's just a woman you scared with your insane ramblings. People call the police when they fear for their safety.
And maybe you're just angry you couldn't get away with fucking around behind your wife's back, and you blame her for all the consequences because the "bitch" couldn't handle the fact your penis was too manly for one woman.
Or maybe she kissed someone else, and you ended up divorced, but she doesn't seem to be suffering enough for her "sins".
It's hard to tell with you Parson.
The LW actually seems to want to stay married to his lovely wife, who apparently has done nothing to deserve this sort of vitriole from you. And neither have those of us who warn of the real consequences of destroying trust within a marriage.
Try yoga or camomile, guy. Women aren't that scary. Marriage isn't prison, and doing what it takes to remain faithful and maintain trust in a marriage isn't a shackle, but a choice. You are free not to choose it, but be prepared to live with the consequences.
I know there are men out there that understand all this. But I don't seem to be meeting any of them.
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Wow, mattielesbon
Do you hate men?
Regardless of how you behave, as a legally privileged female in Family Court you will more likely than not get the kids, house, and a nice annuity if your hubby was stupid enough not to get a prenup.
If you shoot your husband in the back and watch him bleed out from the lower spine before calling the cops, you can get a minimal sentence (see Mary Winkler).
If you murder your husband in front of his daughter from a previous marriage, you can still get joint custody of your biological children (see Clara Harris).
Despite the fact that it is documented that children in divorce want to preserve their relationships with both parents, as a woman, you are still apt to get custody of the children in over 80% of divorces.
If you murder your children, though, you can claim post-partum depression, or some other such gender specific "disorder" that will allow you to evade serious punishment for killing your children (see Andrea Yates).
"Equality" in its truest sense is something feminists never want to see put in place under the law.
Right now in California, dogs have more state money resourced to them in domestic violence disputes than men do.
No, mattielesbon, my divorce was difficult, but not as acrimonious as some. Most importantly, after several years and tens of thousands of dollars, I was able to preserve my relationship with my daughters, despite my ex's and the court's attempts to prevent that relationship. I was appalled during that divorce to see how women get the green light in Family Court for just about every type of behavior. Women and the law treat children like chattel in today's Family Court.
Good luck in your search for a new man to marry.
Perhaps there is one out there just as ignorant of the law as you are.
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Dear Parson
I am sorry for your bad experience. My husband cheated on me, blatantly, and painfully. I divorced him. We split our debts; I paid for the mortgage; he gave me nothing for years, no alimony, and no child support.
I didn't "bleed" him nor indeed even ask for anything. He could see our son any time he wanted. I was working, and he was not.
I am not ignorant of the law (in fact worked in the legal field). I simply don't take as dim a view of human nature as you, that the LW is in shackles and being threatened with the wrath of hell, that marriage is about one-upmanship and divorce is about mutual torture and degradation. Some of us are relatively well-adjusted grown ups.
I assume 99.9% of women aren't interested in killing their husbands or children for any reason, let alone using postpartum depression or PMS as an excuse. I also assume that 99.9% of men aren't interested in stalking and murdering the women who leave them, although that happens too. The leading cause of death for pregnant women is murder by their significant other, Parson. That's a much scarier statistic than a couple of women who got away with murder.
The LW is simply a guy who made a mistake, and caught himself in time to rectify things and save his marriage, if he wants to. If he doesn't want to, and he continues on a path that leads to further sexual dalliance, then yes, he will have to face whatever consequences there are.
Perhaps it's unfair but if he divorced, it's likely his wife would get the kids and the house the kids live in. Perhaps his wife would behave like a shrew and get away with it, or call the cops on him just to be a shit. Who knows. But this letter wasn't about the ins and outs and unfairness of the legal system.
This letter was about what the LW's behavior might mean, and the impact it could have on his marriage, and perhaps how he should view it or curb it or end it or the marriage.
The fact that divorce sucks and people act like asses and the legal system is biased towards women has nothing to do with his choices.
There is no need to bring in your warped concept that the empowerment of women (feminism) is the root of all evil, that acting in a way that is respectful of his wife and his marriage means the LW is enslaved.
Feminism is not the root of your problem, Parson. It's your hatred of women and your desire to blame all of us for the actions of some.