Letters to the Editor
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the yarmulke thing
I think the husband is being a jerk about the yarmulke thing. If you agree to go somewhere that has a particular custom attached to it, you do the custom. It's not a big deal, just a sign of respect. Like when you go to a Jewish wedding--the men, Jewish or not, are often offered yarmulkes and it's a nice gesture to put one on. End of story.
Refusing to wear one as a guest in someone else's place of worship reminds me of when I was an asshole health freak and refused to eat the food my grandmother had prepared because it had refined flour in it or something. It is an insult to the host to refuse the customs of the house in which you are a guest.
The synagogue is not asking the husband to do anything that would compromise him in any profound way; his sense of meaningful compromise is his own invention, his own application of meaning to a little piece of cloth. I also attached inappropriate meaning to certain baked goods; to me they represented a dangerous poison and an insult to the body. Turns out they were just sweet things my grandmother wanted to share with me, just pie.