Letters to the Editor
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It's never just about the laundry
It's about the other stressors in your relationship - your husband's previous unemployment and now - wowzers - that you are a full-time caregiver for a 5 and 3 year old because of your daughter's illness. That is HUGE. You can call it "laundry" but really it's so much more than that.
It's really human, eh, to try to tackle big sad problems by trying to simplify them into trite mundane tasks. If only he'd do the laundry, then I wouldn't feel frustrated.....
How do you feel about being thrust into the role of a caregiver? Is it maybe something you don't want to do, but wouldn't even IMAGINE resenting because it's really no one's fault?
When I had my second child, I found it very stressful and was constantly bitching at my husband for all of these mostly perceived, but some real, shortcomings on the domestic front. My sister gave me some good advice - she said "Don't start pecking away at each other right now, becuase once you start you'll never stop", and that's so true. When things are at their most stressful, the only way through it is as a united front.
Sounds like what you need is just a whole lot of domestic help. Sit down, talk to your husband about the bigger global issues and ask him to figure out a way that you are both happy. Maybe it means throwing a bunch of money at the problem, but tackle the problem with the goal of creating a harmonious household where the children and adults are all happy.