Letters to the Editor
-
Young and balding
Play him Christine Lavin's "Baldheaded Men."
My older brother started losing his hair at 24. When it first started, he would ambush me by pulling his hair back really hard and jokingly asking if I had noticed that he was balding. I finally got him to stop by pulling up my shirt and asking him if he'd noticed where I'd put on a few pounds. He was obsessed with his hairline for years, but at 50, he's finally accepted it. He looks great. I wish he could have understood that years ago.
What most men don't realize is that hair is the last thing that most women think about in a man, particularly if he is comfortable with himself and his baldness.
-
No problem.
A friend and I used to frequent a restaurant. This friend is overweight, utterly bald (lost most of his hair in his early 20s), wears thick glasses, and by most estimations is "plain-looking." And also very personable and confident.
Eventually this friend moved across country. So one day I (with my full head of hair) go back to the restaurant. I go up to the counter and start talking with the waitress who used to serve us all the time. She says "I haven't seen your friend in a while." I explained that he lived in a different state. She sighed and said "oh . . . that's too bad. I love a bald man . . ."
Basically you are what you think you are. If the boyfriend thinks that he's the Great Stud of the Universe, then he IS the Great Stud of the Universe. Being self-assured and confident in all that you are -- whatever you are -- is VERY attractive.
So the boyfriend needs to go with the bald head. Own the bald head. Embrace baldness. We hairy people? Well, screw us.
The girlfriend can help him. She should tell him "I wish you'd lost all that hair earlier, because you are SO attractive without it. All my female friends envy me." And what will happen is -- he will be SO attractive, and all her female friends will envy her. The most important thing in any relationship is how your partner makes you feel about yourself. Girlfriend, his life is in your hands, and you have the power to help turn him into the Great Stud of the Universe. So do that.
-
Baldness is not "Imperfection"
I have to disagree strongly with the basic premise of the letter. Going bald is not a tragedy. I'm married to a very sexy, bald man, and I wouldn't want him any other way. It sounds as if going bald will probably be a good thing for this man and the writer, because it will help both of them come to terms with their perceptions of imperfection, and hopefully expand their views about physical attractiveness.
-
It's not the end of the world
My hairline started receding around the age of 26. I'm 29 now and I'm at Stage 3 on the Norwood Scale (anybody going bald knows what this refers to.) For the first two years I experienced what the boyfriend of the LW is going through now. It was wrenching, and you can laugh at the silliness of it all, but it just sucks, especially when you're the only person among your peers going through it.
I got tired of getting a haircut every two weeks and spending way too much time in front of a mirror trying to get my hair to do what it used to do, so I bought a pair of clippers. It will be jarring the first time you shave your head. You can experiment with different lengths to find what works best for you. I use a #1 guard. The ironic thing is that now I get more compliments on my hair than I ever did when I still wore it out long. The loss of my hair also compelled me to get into better shape. It's not fair, but women DO prefer thick, luscious locks to a chrome dome. Having said that, they will forgive baldness, they won't forgive being both fat AND bald. I took the opportunity to work my butt off and get into better shape, losing 35 lbs of fat in the process. Interestingly enough, I'm having more success in the romance department too since the head shave and rededicating myself to fitness. You can see for yourself the before and after pictures here:
Before:
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/225/444139217_bcac7b03c3_o.jpg
After:
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/250/520844924_5f8d63922f_b.jpg
It's better to make the best of the hand we've been dealt than try to hold on to what is no longer there. There are times when it still bothers me, I have to admit I would prefer to have my hair back, but women have their own body issues to deal with as they get older as well. We lose our hair and their tits begin to sag. The boyfriend of the LW needs to hit the gym if he's out of shape, dress well, work on his "inner game" and the rest will take care of itself.
-
Simple
Find some way to incorporate his baldness into your sex life and then make a point of talking up how cool it feels. I would imagine that would stiffen his stride so to speak if he is really that hung up with the virility thing.
Do it. Lie if you have to. Sometimes lying can be healthy for a relationship.
-
hair
My hairline began receding at 25. It took me a few years to accept this. There were moments of freaking out, staring at the mirror endlessly, trying to intimidate the hairs into hanging around I guess. Now at 30, I'm fine with it. I think my bigger forehead looks kinda dignified, and I tell friends that I gain a few IQ points with every inch of hairline I lose.
Like another poster said, youth is nice, but it's not everything. Would it not be boring to look exactly the same for the 5 or so decades of your adult life?
-
it could be worse
he could loose his hard on.
Which would you rather keep? A nice hardie or some hair?
duh!
Think about all the poor dudes who can't get it up, you think they comfort themselves with a fat head of hair? I don't think so.