Letters to the Editor
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What do they know anyway?
"But what I really want to know is why, one year later, I'm still thinking about it. Nobody has been able to explain why this one thing haunts me so badly. The best explanation I can think of is that what those friends and acquaintances posted was really closer to the truth that I knew and didn't want to see. But I've accepted the truth and I've made changes where I could. Is this not enough? What more can I do?"
Why is this haunting you so badly? Only you can say for sure, but I have some ideas.
1. These people were supposed to be your friends (or friend-like) and they betrayed your trust. This not only hurts, it also makes you question your judgment in trusting other people in your life, so it throws a lot of other relationships and potential relationships into question. No wonder you feel isolated.
2. They did this behind your back, which suggest to me that they were being nice to your face. More betrayal.
3. They said these things in a "public" forum, which I'm guessing adds the fun of public humiliation to the mix. That's a hard thing to get over.
4. It sounds like you believe what they said. I would really encourage you not to take what these people said about you as gospel truth. Maybe they did hit on some things that had a smidge of truth to them if you felt the need to make changes, but that doesn't mean they are the final judge on you.
I think you should cut yourself some slack for feeling bad about this a year later -- that doesn't seem unreasonable to me -- but at the same time, try to focus on moving forward with your life. And although I understand why you'd be inclined to isolate yourself, I hope you'll try to be open to meeting new people - it could be helpful for getting over this.