Letters to the Editor
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To Psamet
Well, looking at the high rates of divorce (the rate among baby boomers is especially high) and the fact that the average American changes careers multiple times, I would venture to say that people make a lot of mistakes when they're younger and try to correct them later. You're assuming that people make the best decisions during that age range, when it's probably safer to say they just have to make decisions period. Furthermore, previous generations saw women more bound to cultural norms and have far fewer options in terms of careers and sexual freedom compared to today---marriage for many women back then, was their primary option for financial stability, motherhood, etc.
Now, more people are waiting later to get married and establish careers and the trend is only rising:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/16/us/16census.html?ex=1329195600&en=e8c52c0503cc79eb&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink
http://media.www.thelantern.com/media/storage/paper333/news/2004/10/21/Campus/Majors.Just.One.Part.Of.Career.Prep-775856.shtml?norewrite200609131705&sourcedomain=www.thelantern.com
http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/02/15/babyboomers.planning/index.html
http://www.creativetypeco.com/column_adulthood.shtml
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I'm reading between the lines
Assuming LW is about the age of the self-deluding, soon-to-be-pining man, or let's say even 10 years younger, the LW should have had plenty experience by now in being there for a dumped friend.
Something seems off here. I say LW is a woman who wants in with this guy, and is really asking how best take this opportunity to wean him off the young 'un and onto her.
Shouldn't be that hard. But who the hell really wants to play that temporary role we all know as Rebound Relationship?
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Czarina: you are a link machine.
I guess I have my reading cut out for me :)
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Unbelievable!
The care, the concern, the suggestions! All for this middle aged dunderhead who lost his Lolita! You'd think someone wrote in asking how to get a friend through a serious illnesss. Like cancer! Feel the love! It overflows! LW better make a move quick, as soon as word gets out his young 'un done gone and left, he'll be swamped with more care and concern from single women than he ever imagined!
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My thoughts on this letter
Bwahahahahahaah-->>If that doesn't sum this whole letter up, I don't know what does.
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As we see again today, people sure have issues with gender!
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For christs sake czarina et al--at what age do you want people to start being responsible for their own lives?? 25?? 30?? 35?? 40?? Never??
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BTW translated: "I need my space" = "I want to f**k someone else!"
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ATTENTION: AGE CHECK!
Your attention, please: This is a mandatory age check. Fill in the following information fully and accurately, under penalty of law:
A. Your Age:
B. Age of your significant other:
Subtract the smaller value from the larger one. If the difference is greater than five years, you're a sick, contemptible individual and should report immediately to the nearest Salon letter column for thorough castigation.
All people are the same. Every 23-year-old is just like every other 23-year-old, and every 41-year-old is just like every other 41-year-old. No variation may be admitted to exist.
That is all. Return to your normal activities.
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Dear Christ You People Are Awful...
A relationship with an age difference does face huge challenges. This doesn't mean that it is wrong to engage in, just that it will definitely have more hurtles.
And yes, I do think there is a certain contingent of letter writers who are envious of the attention men devote to young women. It's not that you wish you were 23, its that you wish men your age looked at you like they look at 23 year olds. Getting old sucks, its the just way it goes.
A simple glance through your average Salon letters section, you suddenly understand how things like the Temperance movement happened.
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Brooklyn has a poing...
....but there is also a contingent of letter writers who want women over 40 to feel like crap, who want them to believe they can never be as attractive as a younger woman because they simply aren't young - as if youth were the sole definer of attractivness. For those guys writing in with this sort of crap that may well be the case, but it's not the case for all men. I'd hate to be a guy and seeing someone like Bend Over presume to speak for me. Sheesh.
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Simple Adage
So this guy 18 years her senior allowed for her to move in with him while leaving the child she delivered at the age of 16 home with her parents.
Hmm ...
This irresponsible little tart dumps junior on mom and dad and gets someone else to pay her bills for a while. That's a pretty smart move. And yet HE is the one who doesn't love the child? Who the hell abandoned the child?
The 41 year old will get over it soon. Put a dimmer switch in the bed room and learn to appreciate stretch marks. I much prefer a woman comfortable in her own skin and knowing what she wants sexually to some spoiled little tramp.
Or, as the adage goes ...
Don't fuck crazy.
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my friend never learned
This guy sounds exactly like a friend of mine, who continues to make the same mistake. When I first met him, he was in his early 40s and living with a girl who was around 20. A beautiful girl who was around 20, and who made all the guys around him jealous.
Guess what? He wanted marriage, kids, and she decided she wanted to go to college and hang out with people her own age.
A few years later he gets married, but to a woman who was around 25. He wants kids, she's not ready. She leaves him.
Last I heard he's again hooked up with a woman half his age and brokenhearted again.
Your friend should learn from my friend. If he wants a lasting, committed relationship, stick with women who are closer to his own age. There are a lot of women in their mid-30s who would like nothing more than a guy ready to settle down and have kids, and he needs to find one of them. But some people never learn!