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Your attention, please: This is a mandatory age check. Fill in the following information fully and accurately, under penalty of law:
A. Your Age:
B. Age of your significant other:
Subtract the smaller value from the larger one. If the difference is greater than five years, you're a sick, contemptible individual and should report immediately to the nearest Salon letter column for thorough castigation.
All people are the same. Every 23-year-old is just like every other 23-year-old, and every 41-year-old is just like every other 41-year-old. No variation may be admitted to exist.
That is all. Return to your normal activities.
